Don"t Ask Don"t Tell in Modern Marriage - Why Marriage Equality Must Happen
A recent story in the civil marriage equality community really brought home the necessity of pursuing this last human right.
Civil marriage equality is an issue for our time, but particularly in light of the health care system's debility, and the national malaise over what to do about it.
Never before in our history has the national consciousness been so focused on an issue that touches every age group, socio-economic level, gender, religion, nationality or geography.
Health care is an equal opportunity issue.
As the median age reaches 36.
6 years, that is male: 35.
3 years female: 37.
9 years (2007 est.
), nearing levels of actual life-expectancy only 75 years ago, the health care debate is understandably at a fever pitch.
And, as is always the case, those on the fringe already have more to lose, and therefore more interest in the outcome.
The LGBT community is just such a group, and that's why health care and its ramifications loom so large in the overall civil marriage equality controversy.
The aforementioned story concerned a professor at a large midwestern university, and his near death experience from an infection.
This college teacher, who must remain nameless due to the HIPAA, or Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act, came down with simple flu like symptoms about a year ago.
A gay man, he was out of town at the time, engaged in a forum with colleagues.
Prior to the conclusion of the seminar, this fellow felt ill, went to a local emergency department, where no definitive diagnosis could be made.
He returned to his hotel, but within hours he knew he could not function on his own any longer.
He returned to the hospital where he was promptly admitted.
He phoned his partner back home, who immediately traveled to be with him.
This other fellow had to drop what he was doing--work, family, household duties, even a pet that had to be farmed out, to be with the man he'd loved and lived with for many years.
So far we have two roadblocks to the typical situation where we find a loved one in medical crisis: the HIPAA regulations, and FMLA, or Family Medical Leave Act.
Number one--Health Insurance Protection & Accountability Act, HIPAA, was a dilemma because the hospital where the fellow was admitted not only didn't notify his partner, they were legally bound not to.
Calling the partner would have resulted in a so-called HIPAA violation, revealing medical information on a patient to someone unauthorized to receive it, namely the partner.
This fellow, by virtue of his unmarried, and unmarriageable status to the patient, was technically a stranger, despite the two mens' long history together.
Whichever hospital personnel had made that call could have been fired for doing so.
Number two--FMLA, or Family Medical Leave Act, which authorizes a family member to take leave from a job, after one year in the position, to attend to a loved one for up to 12 weeks.
FMLA protects workers and employers alike, but it only applies, as the name of the legislation says, to family members.
Again, despite the two mens' nearly 12 year history together, their shared lives, loves, property acquisitions, ups, downs, ins, outs and sideways' together, they were--and still are--legally, strangers.
So the partner was faced with a difficult decision, which was really no decision at all: whether to leave his own career and life pursuits behind to attend to his mate, or to stay home, go to work, worry, and hope, many miles away, knowing that, even though his job and home were attended to, his life partner was hospitalized, in grave danger, and the system considered him only an acquaintance at best.
Anyone who has ever loved someone else, and been faced with this choice knows what the fellow did.
Of course he dropped everything, traveled across country to be at his partner's side, even though authority figures in the hospital may interfere with his attempts at intervention and advocacy.
The upshot of the story is, that the man with the infection, the patient, deteriorated, was put in Intensive Care, where he lingered between life and death for nearly five weeks.
Every day his partner was at his bedside, holding a vigil, bathing his lover, helping with his care, directly involved with his medical regimen and all decisions.
Physicians, to their credit, and in some cases borderline illegal according to HIPAA, allowed the man to call the shots at crucial times.
The story has a happy ending.
Six weeks after his admittance to the hospital for what, at first observation, appeared to be the flu, the patient recovered, and went home.
His partner accompanied him, and the outcome was reasonably good.
The man has some long-term minor debility from his encounter with the septic event, but is otherwise fully recovered.
But his exposure to a system that left him exposed and helpless, as his partner was--or could have been--denied access to him, is, like much else in our septic health care system, badly broken.
It's much like the military's ludicrous Don't Ask Don't Tell, only for marriage.
The solution to this particular part of the health care debate is quite simple: civil marriage equality will take care of those who take care.
The diagnosis is in; it's time.
Civil marriage equality should be the law of the land.
It's a solid step to better health.
Civil marriage equality is an issue for our time, but particularly in light of the health care system's debility, and the national malaise over what to do about it.
Never before in our history has the national consciousness been so focused on an issue that touches every age group, socio-economic level, gender, religion, nationality or geography.
Health care is an equal opportunity issue.
As the median age reaches 36.
6 years, that is male: 35.
3 years female: 37.
9 years (2007 est.
), nearing levels of actual life-expectancy only 75 years ago, the health care debate is understandably at a fever pitch.
And, as is always the case, those on the fringe already have more to lose, and therefore more interest in the outcome.
The LGBT community is just such a group, and that's why health care and its ramifications loom so large in the overall civil marriage equality controversy.
The aforementioned story concerned a professor at a large midwestern university, and his near death experience from an infection.
This college teacher, who must remain nameless due to the HIPAA, or Health Insurance Portability & Accountability Act, came down with simple flu like symptoms about a year ago.
A gay man, he was out of town at the time, engaged in a forum with colleagues.
Prior to the conclusion of the seminar, this fellow felt ill, went to a local emergency department, where no definitive diagnosis could be made.
He returned to his hotel, but within hours he knew he could not function on his own any longer.
He returned to the hospital where he was promptly admitted.
He phoned his partner back home, who immediately traveled to be with him.
This other fellow had to drop what he was doing--work, family, household duties, even a pet that had to be farmed out, to be with the man he'd loved and lived with for many years.
So far we have two roadblocks to the typical situation where we find a loved one in medical crisis: the HIPAA regulations, and FMLA, or Family Medical Leave Act.
Number one--Health Insurance Protection & Accountability Act, HIPAA, was a dilemma because the hospital where the fellow was admitted not only didn't notify his partner, they were legally bound not to.
Calling the partner would have resulted in a so-called HIPAA violation, revealing medical information on a patient to someone unauthorized to receive it, namely the partner.
This fellow, by virtue of his unmarried, and unmarriageable status to the patient, was technically a stranger, despite the two mens' long history together.
Whichever hospital personnel had made that call could have been fired for doing so.
Number two--FMLA, or Family Medical Leave Act, which authorizes a family member to take leave from a job, after one year in the position, to attend to a loved one for up to 12 weeks.
FMLA protects workers and employers alike, but it only applies, as the name of the legislation says, to family members.
Again, despite the two mens' nearly 12 year history together, their shared lives, loves, property acquisitions, ups, downs, ins, outs and sideways' together, they were--and still are--legally, strangers.
So the partner was faced with a difficult decision, which was really no decision at all: whether to leave his own career and life pursuits behind to attend to his mate, or to stay home, go to work, worry, and hope, many miles away, knowing that, even though his job and home were attended to, his life partner was hospitalized, in grave danger, and the system considered him only an acquaintance at best.
Anyone who has ever loved someone else, and been faced with this choice knows what the fellow did.
Of course he dropped everything, traveled across country to be at his partner's side, even though authority figures in the hospital may interfere with his attempts at intervention and advocacy.
The upshot of the story is, that the man with the infection, the patient, deteriorated, was put in Intensive Care, where he lingered between life and death for nearly five weeks.
Every day his partner was at his bedside, holding a vigil, bathing his lover, helping with his care, directly involved with his medical regimen and all decisions.
Physicians, to their credit, and in some cases borderline illegal according to HIPAA, allowed the man to call the shots at crucial times.
The story has a happy ending.
Six weeks after his admittance to the hospital for what, at first observation, appeared to be the flu, the patient recovered, and went home.
His partner accompanied him, and the outcome was reasonably good.
The man has some long-term minor debility from his encounter with the septic event, but is otherwise fully recovered.
But his exposure to a system that left him exposed and helpless, as his partner was--or could have been--denied access to him, is, like much else in our septic health care system, badly broken.
It's much like the military's ludicrous Don't Ask Don't Tell, only for marriage.
The solution to this particular part of the health care debate is quite simple: civil marriage equality will take care of those who take care.
The diagnosis is in; it's time.
Civil marriage equality should be the law of the land.
It's a solid step to better health.
Source...