Yes, it's gratifying, life-affirming, entirely rewarding and full of unparalleled joys. But sometimes, fatherhood just sucks. When your baby screams like a distressed wildebeest while in church, it's you who suffers the glaring gazes from a room full of annoyed parishioners.
When your babbling toddler comments that the cashier at the supermarket "looks like Oscar the grouch," it's you who endures the embarrassment.
And when your 16-year-old forgets that a driver's license only lets him or her drive on land (not water), its you're car insurance rates that go through the roof.
One father in Miami Beach, is still seeing red after deciding to take the heat for his youngster.
When Robert Lerner and his daughter drove past a fruit stand last week, the 10-year-old girl asked her dad to stop so she could get a tomato. Evidently, the hungry child elected not to pay for fruit before she climbed back into dad's car and was driven away, the ripe plant in tow.
After being tracked down by a man Lerner believes was the local farm's owner, the unsuspecting father was caught red-handed with the tomato and was allegedly thrown to the ground and repeatedly kicked and punched, according to WSVN.com
When the event was all over, Lerner was left with a squashed piece of fruit and about $150,000 in medical expenses.
So what can we learn from Mr Lerner's failed parental guidance?
1. "I don't want to get my a** kicked by the local maniac farmer" just became the father's top excuse not to grocery shop, cook or do anything with food but eat it.
2. After years of stating your case against salad, you've finally found a defensible argument.
3. The blood orange now has company as the most violent fruit.
4. When stopping at a fruit stand, be sure to pick up a honeydew, pineapple, dragon fruit, durian or coconut. Tomatoes make crummy weapons.