The purpose of this article is to give some more useful tips on how to actively listen to you child when he or she is telling you a story or venting a frustration.
With these 3 tips in mind you will be able to reconnect with your child in ways you never have before.
Tip One Your child/teen is trying to paint a picture to you with his/her words.
He/she is trying to set up a "time machine" that you can go back into time with him/her, and experience the event.
Because most the events are stories, moods, and settings you were not around for, he/she is attempting to have you "walk with the child", as he or she re-experiences an event.
Tip Two What he/she needs most from you during this time, is to send back verbal and non-verbal messages that lets him/her know you can...
Picture what the child is describing from what he/she saw.
Feel what the child is experiencing emotionally.
Hear what the child is emphasizing in his/her story.
Understand the child's feelings, thoughts, and actions.
Relate to what he/she has experienced.
Tip 3 When you can relate to his/her story because you experienced the same, or a similar event, talk about it after his/her full story is complete.
Too often adults jump into the story, too soon, to help their child/teen feel heard.
Unfortunately, the child feels the opposite because he or she didn't get a chance to fully express the 5 parts of the story.
Instead of using "me too" as a strategy to prove you are listening, first hear the complete story, restate what he or she has said, then share your experience.
In conclusion, listening is a skill that involves sharing stories one person at a time.
That is why it is very important for parents to use these tips listed above when listening to their child.
With these tips your child will feel more comfortable coming to talk to you whether the child is 3, 13, or 23.