What Are Social Skills and Social Thinking?
Updated March 07, 2014.
There are very few things that all people with autism have in common. That short list, however, does include "challenges with social skills and social thinking."
So, what are social skills and social thinking?
Social skills, broadly defined, are those learned behaviors that grease the wheels of social interactions. They vary from culture to culture, but in the United States and other "first world" nations, they typically include the ability to make eye contact, offer a firm handshake, ask and answer questions without grilling another person or standing awkwardly silent, show the right emotion at the right time (somber at a funeral, joyful at a wedding, for example), sit still in a theater, and so forth.
These are all skills that can be taught as behaviors -- though some may be extremely difficult to master, as people with autism often have a very tough time with sensory challenges including eye contact, hugs, sitting still, etc.
Social thinking is much more universal than social skills, but it is also much more difficult to master. Social thinking is also referred to as "mind reading," as it requires an ability to imagine what another person or group of people may be thinking or feeling -- and then reacting appropriately.
How do you know what another person is thinking? The answer is not obvious, because it depends as much upon intuition and critical thinking as it does upon observation. Why might a person be sitting alone reading? Is it because he is sad and lonely? Because he can't wait to finish his novel? Because he's waiting for a friend? A typically developing person can use context clues, past history, and intuition to make a guess that's likely to be accurate. A person with autism has a much more difficult time achieving that goal.
As a result, people with autism have an unusually difficult time with tricky social situations that require, for example, breaking into a group of people to join a conversation; flirting; responding to criticism or compliments; "reading" a group's intentions; and so forth.
Very high functioning people with autism may have a range of difficulties with social skills that are similar to the kinds of difficulties experienced by young children, or by adults from other cultures. For example, they might:
Lower functioning people with autism have a completely different set of difficulties. In some ways, these are easier for typical peers to cope with because they are so clearly disabilities -- and not intentional rudeness. For example, lower-functioning individuals with autism may:
There are quite a few curricula and methods for teaching both social skills and social thinking; these programs are for people of all ages, including adult. While social skills are relatively easy to instill, however, social thinking may be a lifelong challenge.
There are very few things that all people with autism have in common. That short list, however, does include "challenges with social skills and social thinking."
So, what are social skills and social thinking?
Social skills, broadly defined, are those learned behaviors that grease the wheels of social interactions. They vary from culture to culture, but in the United States and other "first world" nations, they typically include the ability to make eye contact, offer a firm handshake, ask and answer questions without grilling another person or standing awkwardly silent, show the right emotion at the right time (somber at a funeral, joyful at a wedding, for example), sit still in a theater, and so forth.
These are all skills that can be taught as behaviors -- though some may be extremely difficult to master, as people with autism often have a very tough time with sensory challenges including eye contact, hugs, sitting still, etc.
Social thinking is much more universal than social skills, but it is also much more difficult to master. Social thinking is also referred to as "mind reading," as it requires an ability to imagine what another person or group of people may be thinking or feeling -- and then reacting appropriately.
How do you know what another person is thinking? The answer is not obvious, because it depends as much upon intuition and critical thinking as it does upon observation. Why might a person be sitting alone reading? Is it because he is sad and lonely? Because he can't wait to finish his novel? Because he's waiting for a friend? A typically developing person can use context clues, past history, and intuition to make a guess that's likely to be accurate. A person with autism has a much more difficult time achieving that goal.
As a result, people with autism have an unusually difficult time with tricky social situations that require, for example, breaking into a group of people to join a conversation; flirting; responding to criticism or compliments; "reading" a group's intentions; and so forth.
Very high functioning people with autism may have a range of difficulties with social skills that are similar to the kinds of difficulties experienced by young children, or by adults from other cultures. For example, they might:
- Have a difficult time identifying sarcasm or dry humor;
- Have difficulty making or maintaining eye contact;
- Have difficulty "reading minds" (accurately guessing another person's state of mind or thoughts based on body language, past experience, and context);
- Under- or over-react to situations in which another person is expressing, anger, frustration, or grief;
- Misinterpret "signals" from a potential romantic interest -- either seeing attraction where it doesn't exist, or vice versa;
- Be unable to gracefully make use of "small talk" or keep a conversation flowing (may focus on an area of personal interest and be unable to change the topic);
- Be unable or unwilling to make use of "little white lies;"
- Use an unusual or "flat" tone of voice;
- Choose inappropriate clothing or hygiene for a particular occasion (wearing ripped jeans to church, for example).
Lower functioning people with autism have a completely different set of difficulties. In some ways, these are easier for typical peers to cope with because they are so clearly disabilities -- and not intentional rudeness. For example, lower-functioning individuals with autism may:
- Be unable to use spoken language, or use spoken language in an idiosyncratic way (speaking very quickly, speaking much too loudly, etc.);
- Need to constantly move (pacing, flicking, rocking);
- Be unable to carry on a conversation for more than an exchange or two without losing focus;
- Have a difficult time recognizing humor (other than physical humor or pratfalls);
- Be unable to make or keep eye contact;
- Appear oblivious to social overtures unless directly addressed (unable to respond to smiles, frowns, etc. from across the room)
There are quite a few curricula and methods for teaching both social skills and social thinking; these programs are for people of all ages, including adult. While social skills are relatively easy to instill, however, social thinking may be a lifelong challenge.
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