Have you ever known someone who always seemed to boost your energy or just made you feel better when he or she was around? In contrast, have you ever known someone who seemed to drain your energy or someone whom you were always trying to avoid? This is an example of the positive and negative forces of attraction at work, respectively.

Quite often, the power of attraction can be and is used by people for their own self-interest. But the effective leader uses the power of attraction to counterbalance the forces of apathy by avoiding the secure comfort zone of self-centeredness. Effective leadership is not a manipulative facade by a charismatic personality. In fact, manipulation plays no part in the genuine power of attraction. I have discovered through experience that there are five absolutes that form the foundation for the power of attraction:

1. Focus on Others First

Effective leaders always deliver measurable results by developing the strengths of those around them, demanding the best from people by building on their strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses. Effective leaders are always encouragers whose first consideration regarding a decision is, “How will this decision best benefit those involved?” Focusing on others first does not mean that you disregard your own best interest, however. Self-interest is always a vital part of the equation, but never first. Self-centeredness comes from the habit of always considering self first. The forces of apathy are at play here — self-centeredness represents the security of a psychological comfort zone. But the effective leader focuses on others first and, as a result, attracts buy-in, cooperation, and commitment!

2. Commitment and Resolve Are Consistently Attractive

A very important ingredient in the power of attraction is being goal-directed. People are not attracted to aimless drifters. An attitude of I’m-just-trying-this-out-for-awhile-to-see-if-it-will-work is not attractive, and others can read that apathetic non-commitment like a book. The power of attraction is built on clear direction, firm commitment, and resolve. You may be fearful, uncertain, and insecure, but if you have the resolve to do what it takes for as long as it takes, you will succeed. Others will see that resolve and be attracted to it.

3. A Positive Self-Image is Worth More Than Gold

A positive self-image counterbalances the natural forces of apathy by never allowing self-doubt to become a comfort zone of security. You can discover whether your self-image is positive or negative by simply listening to your self-talk, whether it is verbal or silent. Listen to what you say to yourself everyday and ask yourself these questions: Am I confirming my success or my failure? Am I confirming my positive self-image or my feelings of self-doubt? Everyone has fearful thoughts, but you can fight them by intentionally replacing them with a positive affirmation of faith. Repeating positive affirmations to yourself builds your positive self-image, and a positive self-image is attractive.

4. You Must Be Aware of and Attentive to How Other People See You

It is important to know how other people see you and to evaluate their impressions. If you are serious about developing the power of attraction, pay close attention to how you dress, act, and represent yourself. We live in a physical environment, and we attract or repel by the impressions we give. The most unfavorable and negative impression you can make is the impression of pessimism. Pessimism is the opposite of positive expectancy. Pessimism is the language of apathy — it speaks of no change. The comfort zone of apathy is comfortable because nothing is expected to change. Pessimism is unattractive; positive expectancy is attractive. You must adopt the language of positive expectancy if you desire the power of attraction.

5. Confidence Is the Most Attractive Impression You Can Make

Confidence always attracts positive outcomes. Now here is the catch when it comes to confidence: you build confidence from successful attempts. However, if you have tried something and have had zero successful attempts, your first human reaction is to stay in the secure comfort zone of quitting or blaming others. Yet no one has ever accomplished great things by quitting, and when you are in a leadership position, there is no one else to blame. What do you do then? Find a proven system and stick with it until you begin to experience successful attempts. If you do not have a proven system, find someone who does, and ask them to help you build one. You will build confidence and attract positive results!