I knew very quickly when I decided to be an observant Jew that remaining an ignoramus forever was very much not an option.
The question was: How, when, and where would I solve this problem? I had fortunately arranged that I would spend my junior year of college at Bar-Ilan University in Israel.
My understanding was this program was academic, but with a twist of yeshiva (Torah learning institution).
But that was irrelevant, because I had earned enough college credits so that I could finish college after my third year, stay in Israel, and go to a real yeshiva once I could put college behind me.
So 'how' and 'when' were answered.
But where would I go? Up to this point my best resource for gaining Jewish knowledge was still Chabad (a very kind and outgoing Chassidic group, seemingly omnipresent in the United States).
I made an arrangement to spend a couple of weeks before I left for Israel at a Chabad yeshiva in Crown Heights (Hadar HaTorah) to help gain a bit of wisdom, and more importantly to whet my palate for the wonderful world of yeshiva.
I enjoyed the two weeks, I really did.
But...
Well, I didn't enjoy all of it...
It was during these two weeks that I was first introduced to those members of Chabad that believed (and continue to believe) that their "rebbe" was the Messiah, despite now being deceased.
The death factor did not bother them.
They awaited his return.
A theology that sounds, well, not all that Jewish.
I didn't fully understand why.
But this REALLY bugged me.
It was also during these two weeks that I became familiar with the concept of the FFT.
You see, there are those who have been religious their entire lives: The FFBs (Frum From Birth).
Frum is a Yiddish word for pious or religious.
And there were those like me: The BTs (Baal Teshuva).
A Baal Teshuva is newly observant Jew.
And then there were the FFTs.
Frum From Tuesday.
A small category of people who as quickly as overnight went from a completely non-religious lifestyle, to one filled with all the fixings of a fully orthodox one.
It's a category of people that usually favors those struggling to find a peer group, and/or those prone to fickle and fanatic behavior.
They scared me a little.
They still do.
But then there was the most important lesson I learned: Chabad is radically different than everyone else.
After two weeks of the program I sat across from the head of the yeshiva.
My schedule for those two weeks basically looked like this: 20% Talmud study (Jewish rabbinic writings), 10% Jewish Law and Bible Studies, and another 70% of various different semi-mystical texts that they called "Chassidus".
I really enjoyed the Talmud study.
I was not too into the Chassidus.
To me it just sounded like, well, nonsense.
But the Talmud study was phenomenal.
It felt like my brain had just been woken from a 20-year coma.
And I sat, happy, innocent, and naive, across from the head of the yeshiva.
I told him I hope to study in a place where they stress more of the Talmud study, and less of the Chassidus.
There was silence.
Little did I know: a.
My suggestion was similar to walking into a Toyota dealership and saying, "Excuse me.
Do you have any cars here?" Apparently the schedule I experienced was unique.
Most yeshivas consist of almost exclusively Talmud study.
b.
Chassidus is the essence of what makes Chabad different.
My suggestion was like sitting in front of a Catholic priest and saying, "I truly want to be a part of your whole group and all.
I'm just not OK with the whole Jesus thing.
" I think the rabbi was a little offended at my suggestion.
So, I walked away from the States to a land far, far away.
I knew I wasn't hunting for a Chabad yeshiva, despite my tremendous respect and adoration for the movement.
But I also walked away knowing that finding what I was looking for was going to be as easy as easy gets.
So, in practice I was full-fledged orthodox Jew.
And I matched up philosophically as well.
And I was on my way to take the trek to the Holy Land to fill in my massive gaps of knowledge.