How to Handle Defiant Behavior
- 1). Recognize positive behavior and praise your child when it occurs. Defiant behavior is often the easiest method for getting attention and you may find that recognizing your child's good behavior reduces the number of defiant outbursts.
- 2). Choose your battles. This is an important lesson for any parent, but doubly so for those with defiant children. You simply cannot fight your child over every tiny thing, so prioritize your demands. Hygiene issues, for instance, would be important enough to warrant an argument. Leave smaller arguments for another time.
- 3). Stay calm. If you feel as though your emotions are going to complicate the issue, take a time-out until you are calm enough to address the problem. This provides your child with an excellent role model for situations that become emotionally charged and prevent you from over-reacting.
- 4). Be consistent. Consistency is one of the most important aspects of dealing with defiant behavior. Each outburst should be met with the same consequences from both parents, and punishments should not be a result of continued arguing. For instance, if you send your child to a time-out, tell them the time will start as soon as they are in their room as opposed to adding time for arguing.
- 5). Find ways to involve yourself in your child's life and have positive experiences together. When a child is defiant or disruptive, it is not uncommon for a parent to wish to avoid that child due to the anxiety and stress he may cause. Finding positive time with the child can help improve your relationship and his behavior.
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