The Stages of Grief in Relationships
- Breakups cause feelings of loss and grief for partners.couple fight image by Allen Penton from Fotolia.com
When a relationship ends, it's normal to experience feelings of grief similar to those felt by someone who has lost a loved one to death. The end of the relationship causes a loss experienced by both parties, who must go through the grief stages. Each person goes through the stages of grief at his own pace, without regard to the order. Understanding the stages can help you understand that eventually you will feel normal again. - Denial is typically the first stage of the grieving process, according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. The denial phase of grief is a coping mechanism that allows the grieving person to deal with the overwhelming feeling of loss. The length of time that an individual goes through this stage depends on the person. Some grieving partners may spend more time alone and cut themselves off from any social interaction during this time.
- Anger is a normal emotion during the breakup of a meaningful relationship. The partner may be angry with the other person in the relationship, or angry with himself. During this stage of grief, some people place blame for the demise of the relationship.
- Some partners go through the bargaining stage of grief at the end of a relationship. This stage may involve trying to get back together with the other partner. A partner in the bargaining stage may beg the other partner to take him back. For some jilted lovers, the bargaining stage becomes an obsession. Others may experience the bargaining stage for a shorter time.
- Depression is a difficult stage to move past for some partners. At the end of a relationship, it is normal to feel sadness and loss, but if the feeling turns into a depression, there is a danger that the sadness and grief will last longer. Depression is not just a feeling of sadness. The symptoms of depression include changes in sleep patterns, diet changes, isolation and feelings of hopelessness. It is normal to feel depression for a time after the loss of a relationship.
- The final stage of grief is acceptance. It is only when a partner reaches this stage that she can move on with her life. During acceptance, it is possible to see the reality of how the relationship failed. Acceptance is a wonderful feeling for many people.
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
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