Be Consistent With a Problem Toddler
In most parenting articles, when it comes to a problem toddler or any child for that matter, adults are told to be consistent.
What does that really mean? What is the practical application for those words? Life is constantly changing so how can one be consistent about anything? It can be a perplexing question to some, but in all truth, the answer is really fairly simple.
Being consistent is as simple as letting your yes mean yes and your no mean no.
Nothing too complicated in understanding that.
However following through with it can be a bit more difficult.
Parents who are in constant "negotiations" with their children are not being consistent.
Someone has to be in charge and children are generally too young for that job.
They are supposed to be learning how to be in charge when they get older, they do not need the responsibility of that job now.
To be consistent with a challenging toddler does not mean that you do not listen to what they have to say.
You should always listen, but make it crystal clear that you will make the decision and what you say is final.
You remain consistent by always being the one in control and making the decisions.
You may have experienced deciding something was okay and later realizing was not.
Oh My Gosh! Well that happens to all parents sooner or later.
It presents inconsistency, but if handled correctly will be a learning situation for both you and the distressed toddler.
By correctly handling the situation you will show that even adults can make a bad choice, but are responsible for correcting the error and not repeating it.
In that way you are consistently fair.
It doesn't hurt for a child to see the real world, once in a while, instead of the illusionary one where adults always appear right and to make the right decision every time.
It is good for them to see how you handle a mistake, how you own up to it and correct it.
Strive to be consistent with your toddler.
Always be the one making the decision, the one in charge, but doing so in a fair way.
Let them know the way in which they can count on you to handle everything.
Then the child will feel stable and will see you as a reliable person, not someone who acts on impulse.
What does that really mean? What is the practical application for those words? Life is constantly changing so how can one be consistent about anything? It can be a perplexing question to some, but in all truth, the answer is really fairly simple.
Being consistent is as simple as letting your yes mean yes and your no mean no.
Nothing too complicated in understanding that.
However following through with it can be a bit more difficult.
Parents who are in constant "negotiations" with their children are not being consistent.
Someone has to be in charge and children are generally too young for that job.
They are supposed to be learning how to be in charge when they get older, they do not need the responsibility of that job now.
To be consistent with a challenging toddler does not mean that you do not listen to what they have to say.
You should always listen, but make it crystal clear that you will make the decision and what you say is final.
You remain consistent by always being the one in control and making the decisions.
You may have experienced deciding something was okay and later realizing was not.
Oh My Gosh! Well that happens to all parents sooner or later.
It presents inconsistency, but if handled correctly will be a learning situation for both you and the distressed toddler.
By correctly handling the situation you will show that even adults can make a bad choice, but are responsible for correcting the error and not repeating it.
In that way you are consistently fair.
It doesn't hurt for a child to see the real world, once in a while, instead of the illusionary one where adults always appear right and to make the right decision every time.
It is good for them to see how you handle a mistake, how you own up to it and correct it.
Strive to be consistent with your toddler.
Always be the one making the decision, the one in charge, but doing so in a fair way.
Let them know the way in which they can count on you to handle everything.
Then the child will feel stable and will see you as a reliable person, not someone who acts on impulse.
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