I actually fainted while giving a wedding toast.
When I came to I was sprawled out on the carpet, the bridal party anxiously hovering over me.
I was beyond embarrassed.
Yes, I was suffering a case of the jitters when I stood up to give my well rehearsed toast.
In fact I'd been nervous about this day ever since I'd agreed to be the maid of honor for my best friend.
After all, getting up and saying a few words was part of the gig.
But pass out? That was a bit extreme,to say the least.
It turns out that one of the greatest fears we humans have is public speaking.
But why did I have to be so darned nervous about giving a wedding toast for someone I've been close to all my life? I knew most of the guests.
In fact the five girls who were the bridesmaids and I all grew up together.
I knew my girlfriend's parents.
I knew her brothers.
Even her aunts and uncles were like aunts and uncles to me, too.
The whole family treated me like one of their own.
They joked about how I would catch the bouquet and be the next one in our crowd to get married.
They loved to tease about how I would meet my prince charming and make his life a sorry mess.
The point is, I should have been pretty relaxed about giving a wedding toast in front of people who cared about me They always rooted for me and would never have been judgmental.
But, if the truth be told, I was a wreck about it from the moment I was asked to speak.
During the weeks that led up to the big event I wrote and re-wrote what I wanted to say.
Yet I was never quite satisfied.
I'm not that bad a writer, but being clever, witty and sentimental all rolled into one turns out not to be so easy.
I wanted my wedding toast to bring down the house.
I yearned to give my girlfriend the send-off she so deserved.
Turns out that's a pretty tall order.
I rehearsed my little speech over and over again in my mind until I knew it backwards and forwards.
But when my big moment came, I keeled over.
I still can't believe it.
After trying a thousand times to analyze the most embarrassing moment in my life, I've had a light bulb moment.
I had been kidding myself all along.
I knew my wedding toast wasn't that entertaining.
The words I wrote hadn't really captured all that my best friend meant to me.
When I tried writing about all her attributes and my good wishes for her and her new husband it just didn't come across.
I ended up taking all the life out of it out of the darned thing.
It came out dull and boring.
And I'm not being hard on myself, either.
Writing a great wedding toast takes talent.
Certainly more than what I had.
Deep down I knew my toast wasn't going to be a winner and that's why I fainted.
Had I had my head on straight I would have searched the internet for a ghostwriter.
I had no idea you could hire someone do it for you.
In fact I didn't even know if such a service existed.
But now that I've done some research I can assure you that they do.
Believe me, next time I'm asked to give a wedding toast I will hire a ghostwriter to make me shine.
I want to be the belle of the ball.
The words that come out of my mouth will be pearls; so extraordinary and perfect for the occasion that I will never feel nervous about making a toast ever again.