June 9, 2015

The Briefcase is a reality TV show on CBS that gives two different families $101,000 and then challenges them with some hard decisions about whether to keep the money or share it with another family also struggling to make ends meet. On the June 10th, 2015 episode Tanya and Leila Bailey-Stewart, a lesbian couple with two children are paired with a conservative Christian family from Texas.


In typical reality TV drama, the families must decide if they want to share their money with people who have conflicting values. In a refreshing twist, the values and sexual orientation of each couple is not the primary focus of the episode nor a big factor the decision each couple makes.

I had the opportunity to interview Tanya and Leila Bailey-Stewart about their experience on The Briefcase. 

Lesbian Life: How did you get involved in this TV show, The Briefcase in the first place?

Tanya and Leila Bailey-Stewart: One day a friend called us and suggested that we consider being part of a documentary featuring a diverse group of hardworking American families trying their best to achieve the American Dream. We were hesitant, but she was convinced that our family should be a part of the show. She said that we were interesting and that people loved us so “why not?” We became more interested in when considering the unique opportunity to showcase our family qualities and values. Never in a million years did we think it was actually for a BIG reality series on a major network.

We’ve all seen reality TV, were you nervous about how you would be portrayed?

There is always a chance that something we said or did might appear or be aired differently then we intended it. But we went through this process true to ourselves and are proud of our values as a family. Hopefully that is what will come across to America.

What was your motivation for participating?

We were excited about being able share aspects of our family life with the public. Not for notoriety but for creating a sense of connection and community. We wanted to show that at the core our family is much like many other families across the country fighting for the hope of a better future our children in this country and quite frankly the world. We wanted families sitting in living rooms all across the globe to truly see us and in doing so see pieces of themselves. We hoped that being a part of what we thought at the time was a documentary would be one more opportunity for us to break down social barriers and continue building bridges between the incredible chasms often created by human differences. We took a leap of faith and we are hopeful that we are received in that spirit.

So, my first thought when I saw the review of the episode was—oh this is a cliché. Pitting a conservative Christian couple vs lesbian couple. How did you feel when you found out the other couple had values different than your own?

While we recognized there were some immediate differences we didn’t feel like it was cliché. In fact the differences didn’t significantly impact us. What we knew right away was that any family is more complex than a basic description and we could not wait to learn more about them and find out who they were as a family and as people. We didn’t dwell on the information we initially got, we needed to understand the best we could who they were and what values they prioritized as a family.

As I watched, though, I thought each of you was rather sympathetic to the other side. Did this show make you question your values at all?  

We didn’t necessarily question our values, but we did reflect on them and made sure to confirm them with our faith. This was a true test is self-awareness. One may say they are a certain kind of person, but when the opportunity arises to act in the way you always imagined you would– will you really? We took this opportunity to dig deeper and to determine the best way to put our beliefs into practice especially when facing the reality of our own needs.

One of the things that happened was, each of you were tasked with different decisions. Some of them overturned the other’s decision. How did being on the show affect your relationship?

We truly believe that both of us have faith and our family at heart. We’ve always said that as long as we are a team there is nothing that can stop us! These last few years, we have gone through many challenging experiences and the key to making it through has been to remember each other’s heart, and intent. We knew that at the end of the day each person would do what they deemed right – and part of loving each other as deeply as we do is trusting that right. 

Any regrets?

Tanya wishes she might have phrased things differently, or maybe taken a few more minutes to think before speaking. But regrets, nah, we are not a family to live with regrets. We make the best decisions we know how to make and then we face what comes next together, as a team.

What has been the lasting impact from the show?

Honestly I think we are still learning what will have the longest impact from this experience. The show provided us with an unexpected opportunity to reflect on our family values and to hold a mirror up to ourselves in front of the whole world. We’ve grown even closer as a family especially after supporting each other through an incredibly challenging emotional experience. We have also deepened our love and admiration for each other. I think the greatest part of it all was sharing the experience with our nephews and teaching them one of the most tangible lessons they’ve had thus far. We hope - as we did when we started this new part of our life journey – that people who see our family can find a piece of themselves in our story.

Based on your experience what would you tell others who are approached to do reality TV?

Sure – why not! It was a great experience for our family. While we were hesitant at first, in the end we all learned something more about ourselves and enjoyed several new family experiences. It is important to go into the process eyes wide open though – because you never know what could happen.