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Identify the Problem Behaviors

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Identify the Problem Behaviors

Before you begin addressing how you will address your child’s behavioral problems, it is important to clearly identify which behaviors are the most problematic. Sometimes parents say something like “Johnny is naughty.” Naughty means different things to different people so it is important to describe exactly what behaviors you want to address.

If your child exhibits several behavioral issues, consider the top three behaviors that you want to address first.

For example, if your four-year-old bites, whines, throws tantrums, refuses to pick up his toys, and won’t stay in bed at night, pick the three that are most problematic. Perhaps the biting, tantrums, and refusal to stay in beds are the ones you find to be the most problematic. Creating a formal behavior plan can help you establish which discipline strategies will most effectively manage those behaviors.

Pick Effective Discipline Tools

There are lots of different discipline strategies that can be used to address the same behavior. Which type of discipline strategy will be most effective depends on your circumstances. Using your knowledge of your child and the circumstances, determine which strategy you want to try. And remember that if the strategy you choose doesn’t seem to be successful you can always change the plan.

For example, a child who bites other children may respond well to a reward system to help him use his teeth for chewing only.

However, other discipline tools can reinforce his positive behaviors, such as praise, loss of privileges, and time out. Providing attention for positive behaviors and assisting him in learning new ways to express his feelings can be helpful as well.

The best behavior management plans are written down. That can help ensure you will stick to it and can help you revise it as necessary.

Word the plan positively. For example, what behavior do you want to see more of? If you want your child to stop biting, state that you want him to “use his teeth for chewing.”

Then outline what will happen when the child does exhibit the desired behaviors. When your child does well what will the positive consequences be?

This may include things like praise or a reward.

Then state what the negative consequences will be if he does not do what is asked of him. These may include things such as time out, ignoring, or loss of privileges.

It is best to explain the plan to the child. For younger children, sit them down and explain, “From now on, when you bite anyone, you will be placed in time out. For each day that you use your teeth for chewing only, you’ll get a sticker on your chart.”

Once you have established a plan, it is essential that you work with other caregivers on the same discipline strategy. Hopefully, you have worked together on establishing the plan with the other parent. However, if there is another parent involved who is not living in the home, it is important to discuss the plan with them if possible. Babysitters, daycare providers, or family members who assist you in caring for the child, should be aware as well.

Depending on the behavior, it may be helpful for the teacher to be made as well so you can address any school related behavior problems as a team.

Consistency can be the key to a good behavior plan. If all the caregivers are able to respond to behaviors in a similar manner, it can increase the plans effectiveness.

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