Revisit the Past

• While you may be justified in taking the victim role in your past relationship, this does little to help you heal and move on in confidence that you will make better choices in the future. Instead, reflect on the previous relationship and honestly evaluate why it failed. Look for the signs that indicated it would falter, and identify any behavior on your part, no matter how minor, that contributed to the problem. Doing this brings you back to a place of empowerment.
  
  

Learn to Trust Yourself

• The fact of the matter is your inability to trust has little to do with the new person, which is why there may be little he or she can do to earn what is now so hard for you to give. Deep down, you no longer trust yourself to protect you from another bad relationship, nor do you trust your ability to rebound again should the new relationship fail. Retrain yourself to know that no matter what happens, you are strong enough to handle the outcome.
  
  

Give It Time

• Trust is something that is earned, not automatically given. The only way you can learn to trust again is by allowing someone to prove to you that he or she can be trusted. This will take time. With every new situation that proves your partner's trustworthiness, you will find yourself able to trust him or her a little more. Do not test your lover repeatedly, however. This borders on controlling behavior that, especially if the new partner has done nothing wrong, can push him or her away. Instead be honest about your struggle and let your lover take the journey with you.
  
  

Know When to Get Help

• If after time has passed and you still cannot trust your new partner even though nothing has happened to legitimately raise suspicion, look outside the relationship for professional help. Join a support group, contact your clergy or seek advice from a counselor. These trusted sources can provide the tools you need to heal those deep scars so you can overcome the past and once again embrace the future.