Emotional Stability

• 1
  React calmly so that your thoughts are in order.thinking image by Daria Miroshnikova from Fotolia.com
  
  Think about the reasons for the divorce. Whether you agree with the separation or not, acknowledge it is happening and accept the path your life is taking for the moment.
  
  
• 2
  Being honest with yourself will help you heal.pass the buck image by robert mobley from Fotolia.com
  
  Place blame on the correct problem. It is easy to say that an affair was the reason for a divorce, for example, but look deeper to realize there were problems that lead to the affair to begin with.
  
  
• 3
  Deal with anger or hurt without bringing in the other person.angry fish image by Tammy Mobley from Fotolia.com
  
  Focus your attention on yourself and any children in the picture. Move away from wanting to hurt or get revenge on the other person. This takes up valuable energy and time, and will detract from the process.
  
  

Prepare Yourself

• 1
  Put all of your paperwork together.pile of paper sheets with paper-clips image by stassad from Fotolia.com
  
  Gather all relevant paperwork the two of you shared. Collect account numbers, names, addresses and phone numbers for all of your bank accounts, credit cards, mortgages and more. Have your tax information available, pay stubs and employment information. If you own a business together, review tax records, assets and debts. Make copies of deeds, prenuptial agreements, wills and powers of attorney.
  
  
• 2). Understand your financial situation within the marital estate. This will give you an idea of what you will attain in the divorce. Begin keeping record of your income and expenses. You'll need to provide documentation for how much support you will be awarded or asked to pay.
  
  
• 3
  Start saving any money you can.money money money III image by imagenation from Fotolia.com
  
  Save money. This is not the time to quit a job. If you currently rely on the other person's income, quickly start looking for employment. Divorce can be costly.
  
  

Begin the Separation

• 1
  Fill out paperwork at the county clerk's office.Documents image by GHz from Fotolia.com
  
  File an Original Petition for Divorce or Letter of Complaint with a court clerk. This is the first step in requesting a legal separation and divorce. Your spouse will be served with the separation papers either by you or an official, and has 30 days to respond or hire a lawyer. This is the best time to note any restraining or protective orders.
  
  
• 2
  Try to agree on a smooth divorce process.discussion image by Valentin Mosichev from Fotolia.com
  
  Talk to your spouse, if possible. Decide on an amicable separation. Keep the goal of getting a divorce in the forefront so there are not any issues that inhibit or slow down the process.
  
  
• 3
  Legal advice may be necessary.Legal Law Justice image by Stacey Alexander from Fotolia.com
  
  Decide if you need to hire a mediator or divorce attorney. Most couples cannot separate or divorce without one or the other. Disclosures, interrogations, admissions of facts, depositions and other information will be gathered at this time. Court appearances will happen. A professional can help you sort out information and make the best possible decisions. Find out up front how much and what the attorney fees will be.