I'll admit it.
The first time my wife left me alone with our newborn son I was scared.
It was for either a quick run to the market or a short run (literally) through the hills of the Berkshires.
I can't recall.
But what I can remember is the feeling in my gut.
That of a rider on a roller coaster as the rattling cart crests the very highest portion of track.
In other words, I was frightened.
There I finally was...
all alone with a newborn baby.
But of course that was absolutely nothing compared to a couple of months later when my wife returned to the work force leaving this Singer/Songwriter "in charge" of a newborn.
Full-time that is.
In the days (or "daze") leading up to fatherhood I had the typical pangs and questions facing any father-to-be.
Of course my main concern was the fact my life was now (according to our child-less cohorts) officially "over".
Apparently I would no longer be able to do ANYTHING with a baby around.
Much less write and record and perform music.
I'll admit it again.
I was scared.
It didn't take long to act on the advice of a wise west coast friend thirty years my senior.
"Fred" imparted perhaps the greatest words of advice known to mankind.
He said: "When you have a newborn, do everything in your power to keep your life as 'normal' or 'the same' as you can and have the baby adapt.
Don't fall into the trap of changing your life and adapting to the baby or else...
" So there I was a new father in the process of writing and recording a new album.
I began to question myself: How would I do this? How COULD I do this? How can I possibly continue to make music when I was now at the mercy of a beautiful little being and his whims? The answer: Fred's advice.
I immediately realized the importance of a consistent schedule (and STICKING to that schedule.
) Once we established the meal time it became easier to establish play and nap time.
Yes, nap time.
What is nap time? Nap time is the beautiful quietude between a newborn closing their eyes and the very same newborn opening their eyes.
It becomes the stay-at-home dad's oasis.
That peaceful (and hopefully lengthy) chunk of time when dad gets to accomplish something before the horn sounds again (a.
k.
a.
when the baby wakes up.
) I used nap time to grab an instrument and work on my guitar chops in the hope playing would lead me to a new song.
Sometimes it did and many times it did not.
But at least I was in the game.
At least I was able to take that time and attempt to create something.
And if nothing got created, at least I was able to work my craft in some way realizing it's never a waste of time.
And thanks to the "schedule" I knew if nothing was accomplished today, there would always be tomorrow.
While establishing a consistent schedule helped my craft while my son was asleep I decided to try Fred's advice during the waking hours as well.
In between meals, diaper changes, play time, reading etc.
I began grabbing the guitar or sitting at the piano.
My son would smile from his "porta-swing" or "bouncy chair" or stroller.
He was "entertained" by the music.
I also noticed he didn't mind if from time to time I'd jot down a lyric or record a musical phrase on the micro-recorder I keep close-at-hand.
In other words, my life wasn't "over" as so many anti-baby heads had warned.
In many ways, it had only begun.
Establishing a consistent schedule for your newborn is not just a necessity for your child's (healthy) growth.
It is a necessity for your own mental health.
It helps provide the down-time necessary for you to return to who you are at your core so when the baby awakes you are refreshed and ready to meet the next challenge.
More importantly, you will be happy to meet the next challenge.
I usually was.