Kids including teens have a mind of there own.
Can you believe it.
That is a big part of the puzzle to put together.
Putting the pieces together will give you a better chance of making it a positive experience, and bring up wise kids.
That is what the puzzle should look like.
Don't try to put a corner piece into the center.
It will ruin the puzzle and you will never finish.
Parts of it will work, but you will never see what the whole picture shows you.
1.
Understand how they learn.
Most kids get the wrong message when you snap at them.
Telling them that they need to stop it.
Have paitents.
Tell them what they can and can't do before you get them there.
Don't take them with you at all, even if it means an extra trip.
You are doing these things for there benefit Another source of anxiety is bed time.
If they don't want to go to bed give them 5 - 15 minutes.
They need a chance to adjust.
If they don't adjust they will be a beast.
If you have little patients that day or night tell them before you show it.
It really helps if they can make you better.
2.
What do kids hate more than anything.
Things they hate to do.
Don't force them to do it all at once.
A tantrum before going to the dentist is not positive for the kid, you, or anyone around you.
Prepare them.
Take them to the dentist before the day of the appointment.
Let them see what it looks like.
Don't bring them to a root canal.
Show the kid that the people there are human and care for them.
It still might take more then one trip especially if it is the dentist.
This works for cleaning the house too.
Don't give them too much the first time.
3.
The kids need to know that you care about them and for them.
Don't be just a friend.
They also need discipline.
Share your mistakes, your triumphs, what your life is like right now.
Don't keep it in the dark that you are struggling.
They won't know why you are so detached.
If you don't share it, they will think it's because of them.
When your having good times, share it with them.
Let them be a part of your life and you theirs.
They know that you care about and for them.
4.
Let them grow.
Growth can take many different forms.
Intellectually, physically, spiritually.
With in these are subsets of growth.
The important thing is to listen, even if your board of their long winded story.
If they don't want to talk, talk about yourself and the problems you are going through and if they could help.
Don't let them say "fine.
" Ask what makes it fine.
Listen and be patient.
Stay engaged, be there for them.
Think about them.
I pray for them.
5.
Start early and make them the most important thing or spiritually the second most important thing in life.
That is why you can't give them everything they want or keep everything from them.
You have a lot of knowledge and wisdom to offer.
Use it to make them smart and wise people.
When you look back at things that you think you did that were stupid, use that as hind site and use the experience to make your kid better and wise.
To finish the puzzle takes many years.
Be patient, think things through.
Make the outcome positive and a learning experience, for you and the kid.
Stay engaged no matter what it takes.
Share who you are.
Use your hind site and wisdom to bring up a wise and positive adult.
Finish the puzzle.
It will be worth it.