How To Get to Know a Person On a First Date
For a lot of people, meeting someone for the first time is a daunting task.
Often, when you meet a person, especially on a first date, you'll more than likely end up talking quite a bit.
Knowing what questions to ask, how to listen, and what to say will do well to establish a good first connection.
Initially, when on a first day, You'll want to get to know a lot about the person you are meeting with as soon as possible to see if there is a connection between the two of you.
The easiest thing that you can remember to do when meeting someone, is to check their OIL.
The O in oil stands for occupation.
Ask the person questions about their job.
what they like to do, what interests do they have about their work.
How long have they worked there, what does their job entail.
When they begin to talk, as clarifying questions.
If they say "I dig trenches with a shovel" say "wow, that sounds interesting, how deep of a trench' or "what type of shovel did you use" or "tell me about the worst day you had doing that".
The more you get them to talk, the more information you will get.
Secondly, ask about their Interpersonal relationships.
The I will tell you what kind of person they are.
Likable people have friends.
If they have little to no friends, this can be an indication that they have issues.
Typically, if a person cannot name 2 or 3 people with whom they have more than a work relationship with, this should be a red flag.
Third, ask about their leisure activities.
L- what do they like to do for recreation.
Do they like to hike? Swim? Go to Church these types of questions will reveal what they truly enjoy.
A person who enjoys sharpening knives and bungee jumping is a different type of person than one who read a lot of books and go for long walks.
Know the difference.
Clearly there is more to this, but if you remember OIL it will greatly help you when meeting a new person.
Remember to listen.
Don't just wait for your turn to talk.
People like people who listen, not people who talk.
If you will remember to check the OIL, listen more than you talk, and remember to ask good open ended questions, you will be on your way to getting to know someone, and have more fruitful relationships.
Often, when you meet a person, especially on a first date, you'll more than likely end up talking quite a bit.
Knowing what questions to ask, how to listen, and what to say will do well to establish a good first connection.
Initially, when on a first day, You'll want to get to know a lot about the person you are meeting with as soon as possible to see if there is a connection between the two of you.
The easiest thing that you can remember to do when meeting someone, is to check their OIL.
The O in oil stands for occupation.
Ask the person questions about their job.
what they like to do, what interests do they have about their work.
How long have they worked there, what does their job entail.
When they begin to talk, as clarifying questions.
If they say "I dig trenches with a shovel" say "wow, that sounds interesting, how deep of a trench' or "what type of shovel did you use" or "tell me about the worst day you had doing that".
The more you get them to talk, the more information you will get.
Secondly, ask about their Interpersonal relationships.
The I will tell you what kind of person they are.
Likable people have friends.
If they have little to no friends, this can be an indication that they have issues.
Typically, if a person cannot name 2 or 3 people with whom they have more than a work relationship with, this should be a red flag.
Third, ask about their leisure activities.
L- what do they like to do for recreation.
Do they like to hike? Swim? Go to Church these types of questions will reveal what they truly enjoy.
A person who enjoys sharpening knives and bungee jumping is a different type of person than one who read a lot of books and go for long walks.
Know the difference.
Clearly there is more to this, but if you remember OIL it will greatly help you when meeting a new person.
Remember to listen.
Don't just wait for your turn to talk.
People like people who listen, not people who talk.
If you will remember to check the OIL, listen more than you talk, and remember to ask good open ended questions, you will be on your way to getting to know someone, and have more fruitful relationships.
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