If you have been reading my articles for some time now, you might have been accustomed to the concept of cutting off a man once he has broken up with you.
In this article, I want to further expand that concept in a more systematic way and break down its importance.
Remember that by "breakup" I mean any instance or situation where a man makes it clear as day that he's no longer interested in pursuing a romantic or intimate relationship with you: not calling you after your first date, disappears after sex, or ending the relationship explicitly.
Regardless of any circumstances, completely cutting him off will accomplish the following: 1.
It will convey him a message that you're a woman of high standards and value.
It'll prove that you're a woman who is not needy or desperate - a kind of woman who is independent and can live without him (because you actually can in the first place).
A lot of men find this kind of attitude very attractive.
Although sporting this kind of attitude will unlikely boost your chances in winning him back, you'll dodge any confirmation in his decision through showing him that he's wrong: that you're not the pathetic, needy and desperate woman he thinks you are.
Obviously all of these are signs that you are below his league.
2.
By way of contrast, it will show him what he will be missing.
By completely blocking him form experiencing life without you, after having a life with your company (simply put, the before and after break up experience), you're emphasizing whatever feelings or emotions he has an end result of his decision.
At first, he's experiencing life with you and then he doesn't.
He'll feel you're absence more which will make him miss and eventually want you back again.
So, the starker the contrast is the better.
But then again, the effect that this will have isn't likely to increase your chances of getting him back, however for some instances it can work.
3.
It will make him seriously think about his options.
So long as you keep in touch with him, he'll know that he can easily have you back, and with that knowledge he'll feel no urgency at all to make that decision.
Opening all communication and making it available to him serves as a safety blanket.
Even if he's not a hundred percent sold out with his decision, he'll not have any force to make him act or the other.
He will just move forward with his own life, and perhaps wait until such time that he's clear about his feelings for you (which in most cases never happens).
4.
It will empower you.
Although you don't have any control over his decision on breaking up with you or stopping from dating you, but you can control something: control what happens after he makes the decision.
As a matter of fact, you are the only person who has the power to "enforce" the consequences of the decision he made.
By hanging on to the hope that you'll get him back, you're giving him all the control and power.
But, if you make him live without your company as soon as he says it's over between you two, then you're forcing him to live with the consequences of his own decision.
By doing this, you are exercising your power and agency.
You take hold of whatever control you can with the interaction.
Though this does not change the aftermath of the situation, it has a pretty good shot in boosting your self-esteem and bolstering your ego amidst the rejection.
You're going to transform yourself from someone who is dejected and pathetic in the middle of the unavoidable circumstances, into somebody who is merely exercising influence and power on the result of the situation - and the situation she has with her ex.
By doing so, and as mentioned in the earlier bullets, you're not sacrificing the chances of getting him back, albeit you're increasing it.
5.
It will make him doubt his options for his future.
Perhaps, this is the most significant mechanism in motion in your sojourn to win your ex back, and it is going to be more powerful as to the length of your relationship with him...
in which this case he is ending.
Attempting to salvage the relationship means you need to keep in touch with him, and ultimately this confirms his concept that he can find someone who is better than you (which is his ulterior motive in dumping you in the first place).
Keeping your communication open for a longer period of time will make him think that you want him so badly and that he can get away dating way hotter girls.
Although he might not deliberately think of this but in a man's perspective all these thought and all these concepts cross his subconscious mind.
And this has a huge influence in the way he thinks.
Texting or calling him sends him signals that you're readily available, even if you're not putting on the effort to do it.
It makes you vulnerable in his eyes.
Staying "friends" with him still makes him think that you're on the mission to win him back.
But, if you cut him off instantly after the breakup, he will not know whether or not he just dumped the best gal in the universe, and that kind of doubt is invaluable in making him think of getting you back.