When it comes to being openly gay, there are a lot of strong feelings on the matter. Some people believe that everyone who is LGBT should come out in order to increase visibility and hopefully decrease homophobia. Others think coming out is very personal and should only be done when someone is truly ready.

Coming out can be an awesome experience. But it isn't one that every teen is ready to dive into before graduating high school, or even college.

If you are feeling hesitant about coming out, it is crucial to think about why you do and don't want to, how you feel when you imagine coming out, and what some of the possible outcomes may be.

So why isn't it always a good idea for teens to come out, even if they are certain of their sexual orientation? Here are a few reasons:

• They might not have support from family and friends.
• They might expose themselves to homophobia, or in some communities, reparative therapy.
• They might feel uncomfortable revealing such a personal part of themselves.

If you are one of those teens for whom coming out at school or to your family, just isn't an option, you might still want to date. That feeling is perfectly normal, but it doesn't make dating easy.

As one teen writes to our forum:

"Well the thing that basically blows is that it's definitely not easy to find someone who would date you without putting your intentions out there and kind of hoping. Like I'm gay, I know it and I love it. But I'm still in the closet and that won't soon change. Therefore I haven't ever had a boyfriend an I'm 17. It's really difficult to find someone unless people know you are at least gay-curious."

Look it is hard enough for a lot of openly gay teens to date, adding a layer of secrecy to the situation, will undoubtedly make things all the more complicated.

Of course there are ways to meet other gay teens without coming out to the rest of the world.

Here are some places you can do that:

• Find a LGBT youth group. The organization Advocates For Youth runs an awesome LGBT youth website called Youth Resource. Just like the name implies, it is has some excellent resources for LGBT teens. Make sure to check out their very comprehensive list of youth programs. All you have to do is type in your state. You can also contact your closest LGBT community center and ask if they offer any teen or youth programs.
• Joining a group isn't going to work for everyone. Maybe there just isn't one in your area. Maybe your folks are going to create too many obstacles. Or maybe the thought of participating in activities with strangers just is not for you. In that case, you might want to consider going online to make gay friends or meet other gay teens. To start you can check out the forum section of this website. There are always lots of interesting discussions going on. Teens from around the country (and sometimes from around the world!) weigh in on everything from romance to politics. Unfortunately, not all teen chat sites are legitimate. If you search for things like: lesbian teen chat or gay teen chat, you might stumble across everything from people trying to sell you something to pornography. Just be careful and only use sites you can trust.
• Another option is to get involved or start a Gay / Straight Alliance in your school. If you aren't ready to look for other LGBT teens in your high school, there's always college. In fact, a lot of LGBT students specifically look for gay-friendly colleges. But what makes a college friendly? Atmosphere, as well as the presence of GSAs, LGBT student groups, even queer studies departments.

If dating is really a priority, you might need to reassess, your decision to not be openly gay.