Divorce Challenge - Get Your Mind Off of Yourself
As you go through your divorce you can easily become overwhelmed with all of the appointments with professionals, finding and providing the many financial documents, making decisions about how to divide up furnishings and possessions, parenting schedules and agreements, moving, etc.
Despite the added stress and pressures you are experiencing, life goes on.
You may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, one minute you are creeping up hill doing okay and the next minute something triggers a memory and you suddenly plummet unable to hold back the tears.
It is not unusual to feel all alone at this time, as if you are the only one going through a divorce.
You may be wondering if life will ever get better? Most people who have gone through a divorce will tell you that eventually you DO start to have more "good" days than bad days.
I want to share with you some steps you can take to empower yourself as you go through the divorce process.
1) Look for the Daily Blessings You may think this sounds cliché, but during a time when it feels like your world is crumbling down around you, you can easily miss the good things that come your way.
Looking for the blessings gets your mind off of the negativity around you and helps you to find the positive.
What we focus on we empower.
Being aware of the good things that are around us or happening to us, can help us to be thankful.
When we recognize things we are thankful for, we gain hope.
Don't take the daily blessings for granted.
Stop and acknowledge them and give thanks.
You may have to start small such as; your health, your children, your home, someone holding a door open for you, someone paying you a compliment, someone letting you go in front of them in line at the store, someone bringing you a meal, a word of encouragement, taking the time to listen to you, someone offering to take your children for awhile to give you time alone, or to watch your kids while you go to an appointment so you do not have to pay a babysitter, facing a fear and getting through it.
If you will reflect at the end of the day on what you have to be thankful for that day, you may just surprise yourself.
There is always something to be thankful for, if you will only take the time to recognize and acknowledge it.
2) Keep a Journal This step can be tied in with the one above.
I am sure you have heard of a gratitude journal.
Keeping a journal of all the blessings you find each day can create a grateful heart.
Realizing there are good things happening in the midst of a difficult time can keep you moving forward.
It can also prevent your mind and attitude from taking a downward spiral to doom and despair.
For me, I would journal about my thoughts, feelings, prayers, concerns and fears.
I found writing in a journal a great way to get my thoughts out and process them.
Reading my journal entries helped me gain understanding.
Over time you can see how you have grown, how you survived, how prayers were answered.
This can be very empowering when you go back a year, 2 years or more and read your entries and see how your life has changed.
3) Signs of Encouragement Another idea that I found helpful was posting quotes, scripture verses, words of encouragement or hope that I may have read on an index card.
I taped index cards on my mirror in the bathroom so I could read them while I was getting ready in the morning or at night.
You could also post cards in your kitchen or at your desk.
I had index cards on a spiral where I kept quotes, verses, excerpts from books, and positive affirmations, too.
The spiral was easy to take with me in my purse or car.
I could pull it out and read something whenever I felt I needed encouragement, strength or reassurance.
4) Focus on Others and Be a GIVER When we have our mind on ourselves and our circumstances it is easy to become pitiful, depressed and discouraged.
When we focus on giving and doing for others, we get our minds off of ourselves.
We were created to give.
Giving can be of your time, your talent, expertise or resources.
One of the best things we can do is help solve someone else's problem or meet their need.
If you will sow a seed into someone else's life, your needs will be met.
You may be familiar with the law of sowing and reaping.
On purpose think of a way(s) that you can give to someone else.
It does not have to be huge, do what you can.
It may be that you give someone a helping hand, volunteer in your community or church, donate money or items to a worthy cause, make a phone call to encourage someone else.
Be creative.
You can keep it simple.
So here is the challenge.
Decide what day you will begin.
Pick one of the steps above and implement it.
You will have to decide which one tweaks your interest the most, will benefit you the most or best fits into your schedule.
Make a goal to do one or more of these ideas for a month.
Be realistic in your expectations.
You may not be able to do a step every day, just do your best.
I think you will be surprised at the benefits when you implement one or more of these ideas and get your mind off of yourself.
Despite the added stress and pressures you are experiencing, life goes on.
You may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, one minute you are creeping up hill doing okay and the next minute something triggers a memory and you suddenly plummet unable to hold back the tears.
It is not unusual to feel all alone at this time, as if you are the only one going through a divorce.
You may be wondering if life will ever get better? Most people who have gone through a divorce will tell you that eventually you DO start to have more "good" days than bad days.
I want to share with you some steps you can take to empower yourself as you go through the divorce process.
1) Look for the Daily Blessings You may think this sounds cliché, but during a time when it feels like your world is crumbling down around you, you can easily miss the good things that come your way.
Looking for the blessings gets your mind off of the negativity around you and helps you to find the positive.
What we focus on we empower.
Being aware of the good things that are around us or happening to us, can help us to be thankful.
When we recognize things we are thankful for, we gain hope.
Don't take the daily blessings for granted.
Stop and acknowledge them and give thanks.
You may have to start small such as; your health, your children, your home, someone holding a door open for you, someone paying you a compliment, someone letting you go in front of them in line at the store, someone bringing you a meal, a word of encouragement, taking the time to listen to you, someone offering to take your children for awhile to give you time alone, or to watch your kids while you go to an appointment so you do not have to pay a babysitter, facing a fear and getting through it.
If you will reflect at the end of the day on what you have to be thankful for that day, you may just surprise yourself.
There is always something to be thankful for, if you will only take the time to recognize and acknowledge it.
2) Keep a Journal This step can be tied in with the one above.
I am sure you have heard of a gratitude journal.
Keeping a journal of all the blessings you find each day can create a grateful heart.
Realizing there are good things happening in the midst of a difficult time can keep you moving forward.
It can also prevent your mind and attitude from taking a downward spiral to doom and despair.
For me, I would journal about my thoughts, feelings, prayers, concerns and fears.
I found writing in a journal a great way to get my thoughts out and process them.
Reading my journal entries helped me gain understanding.
Over time you can see how you have grown, how you survived, how prayers were answered.
This can be very empowering when you go back a year, 2 years or more and read your entries and see how your life has changed.
3) Signs of Encouragement Another idea that I found helpful was posting quotes, scripture verses, words of encouragement or hope that I may have read on an index card.
I taped index cards on my mirror in the bathroom so I could read them while I was getting ready in the morning or at night.
You could also post cards in your kitchen or at your desk.
I had index cards on a spiral where I kept quotes, verses, excerpts from books, and positive affirmations, too.
The spiral was easy to take with me in my purse or car.
I could pull it out and read something whenever I felt I needed encouragement, strength or reassurance.
4) Focus on Others and Be a GIVER When we have our mind on ourselves and our circumstances it is easy to become pitiful, depressed and discouraged.
When we focus on giving and doing for others, we get our minds off of ourselves.
We were created to give.
Giving can be of your time, your talent, expertise or resources.
One of the best things we can do is help solve someone else's problem or meet their need.
If you will sow a seed into someone else's life, your needs will be met.
You may be familiar with the law of sowing and reaping.
On purpose think of a way(s) that you can give to someone else.
It does not have to be huge, do what you can.
It may be that you give someone a helping hand, volunteer in your community or church, donate money or items to a worthy cause, make a phone call to encourage someone else.
Be creative.
You can keep it simple.
So here is the challenge.
Decide what day you will begin.
Pick one of the steps above and implement it.
You will have to decide which one tweaks your interest the most, will benefit you the most or best fits into your schedule.
Make a goal to do one or more of these ideas for a month.
Be realistic in your expectations.
You may not be able to do a step every day, just do your best.
I think you will be surprised at the benefits when you implement one or more of these ideas and get your mind off of yourself.
Source...