I have often heard people explain that they want "nice" friends.
When I ask them what this means, their reply goes something like this: "Well I want people who will listen to me and share.
I want friends who will not judge me or make me feel bad.
I want friends who like to do what I like to do.
" How do you become a nice friend? How do you truly decide who is a nice friend and who is not? It all comes down to giving, and there are two sides and one edge to the giving coin.
The First Side The first side of the giving coin is simply recognizing that you have gifts to share.
This is why people want to be your friend.
When you realize you have gifts, how can you hold back in life? Everyone is enjoying this life for a reason.
What is your purpose in life? This purpose it tied closely to your gifts.
Set aside some time, if you have not done so already, and create a list of your gifts and talents.
Answer this statement repeatedly for five minutes, "I am talented and gifted at...
" Simply allow your pen to keep writing and let anything come out.
This is simple brainstorming, and you are not allowed to judge any of the answers.
Now, go through your list and notice which items make you smile inside.
Put a star next to these and note that these are your strongest gifts.
Your gifts make you glow and radiate.
When you use your gifts, your sense of time disappears.
Find your gifts and exploit them now! The Second Side The second side of the giving coin is to give away your gifts.
This can certainly be in the form of money and time.
It can also be in the form of sharing life with other people.
This is powerful because the rewards that come back to you are simply amazing.
Give away freely without expecting a return.
When you give, you must be helping other people.
You know you are helping others when you listen first.
By listening, you can determine what people want and need.
Then you act accordingly.
As you give to other people, do so without expecting an immediate return from them.
You can have fun giving to other people in "sneaky" ways.
You can buy a coffee for the next car in line behind you at your favorite drive through-they will have no idea and they will feel great all day long because of your $3 gift.
Give simply to give.
The Edge The edge of the coin refers to how important it is for us to be great receivers of gifts when they arrive.
Too many people-perhaps you too-bounce gifts right back to the person giving them.
It is unfair to not accept heart-felt gifts fully.
Here is an example.
Wife: "Honey, you look great tonight.
" Husband: "Thank you.
" Wife: Standing, waiting for a return comment.
Husband: Looks back at wife and smiles.
This is an example of how a giving comment should simply be accepted fully.
The other version of this is offering an "I love you.
" How many people immediately reply, "I love you too?" This is not accepting a gift fully, and it does not allow the person giving to fully give! Perhaps you receive a present from a friend for your birthday and now the bar has been raised because it is an expensive gift.
Do you remember this estimated cost so you can match this gift for their next birthday? Do you feel you owe someone a gift or a simple cup of coffee because they brought you one first? Why? Accept gifts as they come and allow the gifts to be fully given to you.
Use the coin of giving and notice how strong and powerful your relationships become.
When remembering to give, use this acronym, G.
I.
F.
T.
Go In For Them.