In many cases when a couple file for divorce, all they need to do is site "irreconcilable differences" and they will have their divorce granted.
However, realistically there will be and should be irreconcilable differences in a relationship or marriage.
The best way to save your marriage is to accept conflict as a normal part of any close relationship.
We picture a couple that is getting a divorce as two people who attack each other, but if they are verbalizing their needs then they are doing better than a couple who avoids confrontation at all costs.
These relationships will eventually fall apart as the couple drifts further apart.
For these couples the best way to save their marriage is by accepting conflict.
Yelling and screaming at each other is not necessarily good for a relationship, but for those who do not recognize and admit that there a problem, they are more likely to break up.
The way to fix this is by learning how to communicate your thoughts and feelings in an open and safe way.
Here are some tips to improve your communication skills: •Make time for each other.
If you are too busy with other things, it is too easy to lose that connection with your partner, and not spend enough time talking about the little things.
Little things left alone can become big things.
So make time to have together regularly.
Make a weekly date night, and also make time to catch up with each other on a daily basis.
Meal times are a good time to do this.
•Practice active listening.
I once said to my husband honestly "I am not really listening to you, you know," and he never lets me forget it.
It is so easy to not really listen, but it is important to do so because your partner could be telling you what you need to know.
My relationship with my husband improved immensely when I truly began to listen and apply the things that he told him he needed.
•Be understanding.
Find out why your partner is feeling unhappy.
Unless you ask you will not know and if it is something that you have done, then you will know how to fix it.
If it is not you, then at least you can offer understanding and support, and a problem shared is a problem halved.
•Share your world.
Couples drift apart because they start living in their own worlds.
Try to get involved in your partners world so that you can share experiences and spend time together.
It is important to have things in common.
This helps keep you united and can help save your marriage.
•Walk a mile in each other's shoes.
There is a saying in the Bible, "Judge not, lest you be judged" and it implies that by the standard you judge others, you will be judged.
Listen to each other's needs and be kind with each other.
Judging or criticizing will only reinforce the behaviors you do not want, and alienate you from each other.
•Honesty is the best policy.
This begins with you.
Be honest with yourself about what you need and want.
Then be honest with each other.
Express your feelings and needs in a kind and loving way.
When you are honest with each other, you begin to heal any rifts and save your marriage.
As much as it would be lovely to say that once you are right, your marriage will be sweet, but truthfully, marriage is hard work.
It is also very rewarding and well worth the effort.
It will be one of the most important and life-changing relationships you will ever have.
The best way to save your marriage is accept conflict and make it work for you, not against you.