I have grown over time into having a very unique conflict metaphor.
As a young adult I was very timid, and conflict was always handled in a negative manner.
Now, I take a totally different approach to things.
My profession, as a life coach, has helped me look at conflict differently.
Helping others through their conflict resolutions has improved my character.
Thus, it has improved the way I handle conflict in my life.
My personal metaphor for conflict is like dancing the tango at an advanced competition.
The tango is not just any dance, even at the beginning stages.
It is a dance that cannot be done alone, and needs the other party.
Tango, at the advanced level, is very elegant, yet complicated.
This is how I like to view and handle conflicts day to day.
To me this metaphor means that I look at conflict as a good thing that happens.
Like conflict, tango, is something two people have to learn from each other in order to move forward.
This is how the dance flows when the music starts, two partners that have learned from one another dancing as one.
To tango at this level, you have to become willing to be intimate and interdependent on another person's actions.
You also have to be capable of being intense, but not stubborn.
This dance helps you learn to lead and follow at the same time.
When a conflict arises in life this is my approach to resolve things.
The conflict could be work related, or even personal, and I take the same stance every time.
I spent many years of my life as a dancer, so I look at all human interaction as a great thing.
Now, I have learned to use one of my passions in life as a positive position towards conflict.
Conflicts are something that nobody can avoid, but how you handle them says a lot about your character.
Once, I figured out that how you handle things is how you are perceived to others I changed my way of handling conflicts.
When I was younger I looked at all conflicts as a negative thing.
That type of thought pattern even popped up in my personal relationships.
This was because, as a child, I viewed conflicts as bullying and explosive.
There was no real in between in my household; every conversation was like an argument.
Someone always had to be the winner and the other the loser.
I wanted to be far away from this type of conflict style, and I became a runner.
Whenever any type of conflict would arise I would run away.
After, a bad boss, some horrible friends, and a nightmare for a marriage I learned to stop running.
I knew my voice needed to be heard in a positive way, and that I needed to listen the same way.
I then took conflict resolution classes, and course studies in becoming a life coach.
When I became a life coach, and started coaching others, it enlightened my view on conflict.
I then understood that conflict is a positive interaction, and is a learning experience about yourself and others.
This is when I changed my metaphor for conflict to the tango.
I learned to be intrigued by others point of view, and to learn where they stand in the conflict.
Doing this has helped me understand people.
Once I combined learning from others, and staying interactive in a conflict I struck gold.
Now, I handle conflict like I handle learning a new partner dance.
I listen and watch where they are coming from, to see how to get where we are going together.
The road to an advanced dance competition for the tango is never easy, but you learn a lot along the way.