Have you just lost a special person in your life? The emotional pain can be excruciating and long lasting.
Without taking the proper actions the feelings that you and you ex can experience could lead to hostility, bitterness, and even dread.
Taking the wrong actions will kill any chance of reconciliation - let alone getting re-united.
Fortunately there are some very excellent and extremely efficient ways on coping with break up.
If you have just recently separated, or are about to separate, there are proper ways that you need to act, and certain things you need to do in order not to make the separation worse.
The first 3 steps are assuming that you have just split up in the relationship.
Even if its been a little time after the initial fall out these steps can still be implemented and are very helpful.
1.
First of all you need to relax.
Its very important that if you have just recently separated from someone not to panic or act emotionally excessive.
You need to be cool, calm, and collected.
Do not act out any negative emotions to your ex, such as: shouting, arguing, condescending / put-downs, blaming, or any other types of destructive forms of communication and emotion.
This also includes any self sympathizing manifestations such as: self justification, jealously, desperation, and acting excessively depressed.
These types of behavior makes you look weak, tactless, and unintelligent.
These emotions give off energies that are totally un-attractive and un-desirable.
2.
If you can act like you have your act together, you then need to agree with the break up.
You need to say or imply that it is the best course of action for the both of you.
If you are the one who was dumped his makes the situation seem more mutual and actually gives back a lot of your power that was taken away from you during the break up.
It levels the playing field and makes the person who broke up with you feel like they lost something to.
It also is a very mature and respectful way to close a relationship.
3.
After steps one and two have been successfully implemented you need to move into the space and time phase.
At least a week ( minimum ) up to a month or more of absolutely no contact is highly advisable.
This means no texting, instant messaging, calling, or anything.
You have just experienced a once meaningful separation, and both of you need time to reflect on the prior relationship, your ex, and yourselves.
4.
The fourth stage is extremely important.
After you have taken some considerable length of time away from each other you need to write them a handwritten apologetic letter.
This can either be in postage or email form - not text, instant message, or phone form! Remember you are contacting them for the first time since the split.
This letter needs to be very sincere, and friendly.
It cannot be stressed enough that you cannot be negative in anyway.
On the contrary, it should be bright, optimistic, and positive.
You want to come across as doing really well - even if you might not feel extremely excited or enthusiastic.
The letter should consist of an apology, an update on your honest reflections about the situation, and a 'wish you well' close.
After you write the letter there are you want to make sure that the general mood of the relationship is light hearted and sincere.
Its important to remain optimistic and positive whenever you come in contact with your ex.
If the prior steps are followed properly, coping with break up can be achieved in a positive, light hearted, and constructive way.