Peer Pressure - Measures to Help Your Child - Part II
This is a 3 Part article.
For a better understanding of these concepts, please also read Part I and Part III Many young people (and unfortunately a lot of the adults) mix up acquaintances, mates and friends in the same category because they don't understand or don't give any importance to the difference between the two.
Certain behavior and decisions are proper or expected among acquaintances, others among mates and others among friends.
For example, if we make a trip for a few days with an acquaintance, very likely there will be conflicts because his/her preferences or habits may be very different to ours because we don't know him/her well yet.
The third definition about friendship, is one most of us accept and use.
However, if we choose a business partner or our kids choose a roommate based on this definition, what would be the chances for a successful relationship? This definition is too general and is also another of cause of the problem.
There are more effective questions our children should ask themselves before picking out a friend: oIf I were this person's son (daughter), would I be proud of him/her? oIf I were a parent, would I like this person to date my son or daughter? The next question is more appropriate for parents when choosing friends: oIf I knew I was going to die, would I leave this person in charge of my kids? The way we respond to these questions will show the importance we give to this subject as well the good or bad relationships we have with our present friends.
A better definition of a true friend would be "A friend is someone I know very well, trust completely and can count on, but above all, someone I admire and respect because of his (her) moral qualities".
Of course, true friendship implies reciprocity, which means giving as well as receiving.
However, it's sad and alarming to see that many of us parents don't show good wisdom when we pick our own "friends".
Where is our common sense when we put more time and care choosing a new stereo system than choosing a friend? How many of us parents would keep our present "friends" if we make ourselves these questions or if we apply this last definition? Do your friends steal, cheat on their spouses, clearly neglect their children, abuse drugs or alcohol, use foul language etc.
? It's very difficult to criticize our children's friends when ours leave a lot to be desired.
Most of us don't know our friends' values and therefore, there are instances when we feel offended or disappointed.
We all know the old saying, "Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are".
There is another saying, funnier but more objective "If you want to fly like the eagles, don't hang around with the turkeys".
On Peer Pressure - Measures to Help Your Child - Part III of this article, learn: oThe importance of setting a "good example" oThe other 2 reasons why our kids have one or more undesirable friends oOur own values as parents oThe values to look for when choosing a friend
For a better understanding of these concepts, please also read Part I and Part III Many young people (and unfortunately a lot of the adults) mix up acquaintances, mates and friends in the same category because they don't understand or don't give any importance to the difference between the two.
Certain behavior and decisions are proper or expected among acquaintances, others among mates and others among friends.
For example, if we make a trip for a few days with an acquaintance, very likely there will be conflicts because his/her preferences or habits may be very different to ours because we don't know him/her well yet.
The third definition about friendship, is one most of us accept and use.
However, if we choose a business partner or our kids choose a roommate based on this definition, what would be the chances for a successful relationship? This definition is too general and is also another of cause of the problem.
There are more effective questions our children should ask themselves before picking out a friend: oIf I were this person's son (daughter), would I be proud of him/her? oIf I were a parent, would I like this person to date my son or daughter? The next question is more appropriate for parents when choosing friends: oIf I knew I was going to die, would I leave this person in charge of my kids? The way we respond to these questions will show the importance we give to this subject as well the good or bad relationships we have with our present friends.
A better definition of a true friend would be "A friend is someone I know very well, trust completely and can count on, but above all, someone I admire and respect because of his (her) moral qualities".
Of course, true friendship implies reciprocity, which means giving as well as receiving.
However, it's sad and alarming to see that many of us parents don't show good wisdom when we pick our own "friends".
Where is our common sense when we put more time and care choosing a new stereo system than choosing a friend? How many of us parents would keep our present "friends" if we make ourselves these questions or if we apply this last definition? Do your friends steal, cheat on their spouses, clearly neglect their children, abuse drugs or alcohol, use foul language etc.
? It's very difficult to criticize our children's friends when ours leave a lot to be desired.
Most of us don't know our friends' values and therefore, there are instances when we feel offended or disappointed.
We all know the old saying, "Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are".
There is another saying, funnier but more objective "If you want to fly like the eagles, don't hang around with the turkeys".
On Peer Pressure - Measures to Help Your Child - Part III of this article, learn: oThe importance of setting a "good example" oThe other 2 reasons why our kids have one or more undesirable friends oOur own values as parents oThe values to look for when choosing a friend
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