Tips For Reaching Out to Troubled Youth
If you have a child, teenager, or young adult in your life whom you suspect or know for sure is struggling with self-esteem, defiance, anger, or lying, your first instinct is probably to reach out.
This is a good instinct, and you should follow it; however, know that there are certain ways to go about reaching out to troubled youth and that moving too quickly or in the wrong way may push the troubled youth away from you.
Before you make a move to help the troubled teen or young adult in your life, consider some of the following advice: 1.
Be understanding.
Many troubled teens are acting out because they feel no one understands them.
Maybe their friends make fun of them when they act like themselves, or maybe their parents push them into a mold that just doesn't fit.
Whatever the case, if you want to reach out to a troubled youth, you need to be someone who understands them.
This doesn't, however, mean that you need to flippantly say, "I know what you're going through," if you don't.
Real understanding comes only through listening well.
2.
Listen actively.
You've probably heard tips on active listening before: "Look them in the eye," "Repeat some of what they're saying," "Ask questions for clarification," etc.
All these tips apply ten-fold when it comes to listening to a troubled teen.
Often times teenagers and young adults feel that adults never listen because they're too ready to give advice or lectures.
Don't be that adult! Instead, take what he or she says very seriously, and take time to fully process what is being said before you put in your two cents.
3.
Be caring.
Work with the troubled youth to find solutions to his problems without pushing him to become something he is not or isn't ready to be.
Make suggestions only after you've thought about them long and hard, and try not to come across as preachy when you're giving advice.
If you've taken the time to really understand and listen to a troubled youth and have put some serious thought into any advice you give, the youth is much more likely to follow your suggestions.
4.
Help the youth seek professional help.
Sometimes, a troubled youth is already in such a terrible situation or frame of mind that you cannot help much except to call on a professional youth worker or counselor.
In fact, trying to pull a teenager out of major emotional or situational problems may cause more harm than good, so if you feel like you're getting in over your head, it might be a good idea to prod the youth toward professional help.
5.
The big "if.
" These rules only apply if the youth isn't in a life-threatening situation.
If he or she is suicidal or on the verge of overdosing on drugs or alcohol, do everything in your power to get him or her to a professional facility trained in dealing with desperate youths.
Even if the troubled youth can't stand the sight of you for a while because she feels you've dumped her in a place she doesn't need to be, you will have done the right thing and possibly saved a life.
This is a good instinct, and you should follow it; however, know that there are certain ways to go about reaching out to troubled youth and that moving too quickly or in the wrong way may push the troubled youth away from you.
Before you make a move to help the troubled teen or young adult in your life, consider some of the following advice: 1.
Be understanding.
Many troubled teens are acting out because they feel no one understands them.
Maybe their friends make fun of them when they act like themselves, or maybe their parents push them into a mold that just doesn't fit.
Whatever the case, if you want to reach out to a troubled youth, you need to be someone who understands them.
This doesn't, however, mean that you need to flippantly say, "I know what you're going through," if you don't.
Real understanding comes only through listening well.
2.
Listen actively.
You've probably heard tips on active listening before: "Look them in the eye," "Repeat some of what they're saying," "Ask questions for clarification," etc.
All these tips apply ten-fold when it comes to listening to a troubled teen.
Often times teenagers and young adults feel that adults never listen because they're too ready to give advice or lectures.
Don't be that adult! Instead, take what he or she says very seriously, and take time to fully process what is being said before you put in your two cents.
3.
Be caring.
Work with the troubled youth to find solutions to his problems without pushing him to become something he is not or isn't ready to be.
Make suggestions only after you've thought about them long and hard, and try not to come across as preachy when you're giving advice.
If you've taken the time to really understand and listen to a troubled youth and have put some serious thought into any advice you give, the youth is much more likely to follow your suggestions.
4.
Help the youth seek professional help.
Sometimes, a troubled youth is already in such a terrible situation or frame of mind that you cannot help much except to call on a professional youth worker or counselor.
In fact, trying to pull a teenager out of major emotional or situational problems may cause more harm than good, so if you feel like you're getting in over your head, it might be a good idea to prod the youth toward professional help.
5.
The big "if.
" These rules only apply if the youth isn't in a life-threatening situation.
If he or she is suicidal or on the verge of overdosing on drugs or alcohol, do everything in your power to get him or her to a professional facility trained in dealing with desperate youths.
Even if the troubled youth can't stand the sight of you for a while because she feels you've dumped her in a place she doesn't need to be, you will have done the right thing and possibly saved a life.
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