Losing a partner or a spouse as a result of a relation gone wrong is way different than losing a loved one to death.
It is a loss that one of the partners in a marriage has to inevitably deal with.
The hurt that follows is unfathomable and the degree of grief varies depending on the cause of the death and the relation shared between the two of them.
And of course the hurt has its companions-physical, emotional and financial.
The aching loneliness, financial struggles, bringing up children alone, managing finances, making decisions, dealing with other relations, being strong for your children and most vital but most difficult-moving on and coping with your hurt, are the challenges you got to face.
The sooner you face them the sooner you would start healing.
It has been said many times and yet it is most difficult to believe that, life doesn't stop when a loved one dies, it goes on and you got to live through it.
Here are a few tips that might help you deal with the loss: 1.
Acceptance of the whole situation is the hardest thing.
You might feel confused, disoriented, scared, guilty, angry or even relieved (in case of a prolonged sickness).
Don't hold it against yourself.
You loved that person and now you have to ensure you live your life fully just like he or she would have wanted you to.
2.
Facing your grief and giving yourself time to mourn is very important.
Grieve at your own pace.
3.
Share memories! Talk about their memories with your friends, family and children.
You can't just shut it all out.
4.
Taking one day at a time definitely helps.
If you can manage through one day you can most certainly manage another.
Thinking and planning about years ahead would be too difficult, so leave long term planning aside until you are in a better state.
5.
If you have children, they are going through their own loss.
They are even more clueless than you are, so be there for them, they need you more than ever now.
6.
You need to sort out the financial aspects, loans, bills, investments, mortgages and insurances.
The sooner you handle them the less stress they would cause.
7.
Join a support group.
It always helps to share your grief with people who are themselves grieving.
8.
Be good to yourself.
Don't at any cost eat, drink or smoke too much.
Don't use anti-depressants for a prolonged period.
9.
Maintain a regular routine.
Make exercise a part of your life.
Give time to yourself so you can do some reflective thinking.
It helps in healing.
10.
Do cry after a day or two.
Pretending to be strong and going about daily routine can take its toll.
Crying is cathartic, it helps.
11.
Emptying the closets and drawers shouldn't be done in a hurry.
People might tell you to do it right away.
Do it in your own time or you might regret it later.
Do it yourself, it could be good to have someone around once you get to it.
Death of a loved one with whom you have dreamed of a happily ever after, is one of the bitterest realities of life.
At that time it seems unimaginable that we can still function without them, but we do.
What you need most is time and belief in yourself.