Many people enter into their marriages believing that life is going to be nothing but blue skies and sunshine. Shortly after their honeymoons, it seems that reality jumps up and smacks them dead in the face. Marriage is a partnership rooted in everyday reality and requires efforts from both husband and wife to make it successful.

Should only one of them make efforts to make things work, the marriage is doomed from the word go. Many couples would rather divorce and start a new life all over again than trying hard enough to maintain and nurture their marriage relationships.

By following these relationship help tips, you can save your marriage.

The Pros, the Cons and the Decisions

Once a married couple separates, it seems like their entire life is in turmoil and their world is reeling out of control. This is not the time to make split second decisions about your marriage. You must take some time to seriously contemplate whether or not you really want to save your marriage.

Relationship help advisors suggest that both the husband and wife make their own lists regarding the pros and cons of their marriage. It is essential that you are brutally honest at this time. The list will take some time to create and will probably be added to and changed over time.

You should seriously look at the items that you have listed as cons. Take each one and think about it. Ask yourself if there are ways to fix that problem. Should you not be able to come up with a way to fix it, put an asterisk next to it.

Be sure to look at yourself and not only your spouse when making the pros and cons lists. Accepting the fact that you aren't perfect is the first step towards saving your marriage, according to relationship help gurus.

More than likely, there are some things that you can change about yourself or your behavior that can have an incredible effect on your ability to save your marriage.

Actually Act

Now that you've found what needs to be changed in order to save your marriage, you will need to take the bull by the horns and make the changes. Relationship help experts believe that you and your spouse should meet on neutral ground to discuss the ways that you can make your relationship work.

You can do this over coffee, at the park or at your family therapy specialist's office. Remember that yelling and placing blame will not help you to work things out and get your marriage back on track.

Relationship help gurus believe that each person must own up to his mistakes and shortcomings. Once a person recognizes the areas that need to be improved upon, he will start working on them on his own unless these issues are brought up in an aggressive fashion.

Both partners need to be calm and avoid pointing fingers at each other. Be willing to accept constructive criticism in order to make your marriage viable again, say relationship advice experts.

Create the Change

Relationship help advisors believe that you need to create the change in your marriage in order to make it successful. Be diligent and make a conscious decision that you won't make the mistakes that you did in the past.

Some people employ the services of a licensed family therapy specialist to instill wisdom for relationships in them. You must be willing to go to great lengths in order to save your marriage if you truly love your spouse. By following this relationship help advice, you will be well on your way to making your marriage a success.