You've just gone through a breakup.
You feel like your life has gotten crazy, totally out of control.
You feel like now, you have no idea what's going to happen between you and your ex.
Will you get back together? Does she hate you? Does she never want to see you again? Is she sleeping with somebody else? All these crazy thoughts in your head, and you just want to scream.
Or maybe kill yourself.
I should say now: if you are considering suicide, PLEASE get help.
Your life is not worth destroying over a breakup.
Yes, you are in an emotionally devastating time, but it will get better.
(Call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you are seriously considering suicide.
) So your course of action right now should be: 1.
Ask a friend for support and comfort.
Going to a close friend after a breakup will help put things in perspective.
He or she can remind you of how valuable and worthy you are as a human being.
2.
Do something.
Anything.
Just take action.
Get your mind off the breakup.
Smash a plate on the wall.
Go for a run around the block.
Punch a punching bag.
DO SOMETHING to get yourself out of the craze of maddening thoughts that happen after a breakup.
3.
Prepare for when your ex contacts you.
She may or she may not contact you.
Regardless, you must be prepared to say the right thing.
You don't want to screw it up and say things that will drive her away again.
Here's what you need to say to her: I agree that we should be broken up.
You were right.
Being apart is what we both really need right now.
I'm going to be doing something exciting (mention something from your life, like taking classes at a university, going to a party, taking a trip to Hawaii, wherever).
Just say something that makes it sound like you have exciting things going on in your life.
This creates interest in her mind.
Finally, say, "Call me if you want to talk.
" Sign the letter, Your name That's it.
Finally, you have to follow through on what you promised your ex.
Get out there.
Start meeting new people.
Fill your life with fun activities, things you're passionate about.
Lose weight, take up new hobbies.
Catch up your schoolwork.
If you've been neglecting priorities in your life in favor of your ex, now is the time to get back in touch with those priorities.
If your priority is your relationship with your ex, then you've done both yourself and her a disservice, and you know it.
Deep down, you know it.
Shift the priority to YOU.
Now, a brief warning: you might find your ex is with somebody else.
A new guy.
She might be sleeping with him.
You might hear this through the grapevine.
Realize that this is natural.
Both genders, though especially women, often get into a rebound relationship after they break up with someone.
This is motivated by her need for comfort.
She will go to the nearest available person/guy who will provide that comfort.
So if you find out she is with someone else, just say, "no big deal," and go on with your life.
Understand that this is more about HER NEED for comfort and security than it is about you.
It has nothing to do with you or your ego.
The key is to follow through these outlined steps and DO what I've outlined for you here in this article.
Simply taking action will make you feel a hell of a lot better.
So remember: 1.
Call a friend for support 2.
Do something to get your mind off the breakup 3.
Prepare for when she finally contacts you