How to Get a Goth Boyfriend
- 1). Listen to darkwave music until you understand some of it. Buy music from the Cruxshadows, Switchblade Symphony, Xymox, the Awakening, Screams for Tina, Masochistic Religion and Corpus Delecti. Buy copies of Dante's "Inferno," the poetry of Byron, Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and Leo Tolstoy's "Confessions." Read them until you understand them. Read your books in the presence of your prospective beau.
- 2). Buy leather and buy black. Black clothing is emblematic of Goth culture, and anything that hints at sado-masochistic sex is better yet. The idea is not to have sado-masochistic sex, but to use the clothing as a statement against the establishment. If you have the balance, purchase knee-length, platform boots. Spiked dog collars are popular on the Goth scene, as are leather corsets for women. Augment your wardrobe with visible body piercings and tattoos that feature skulls and the occult. Facial tattooing shows a deep level of commitment; he will appreciate that.
- 3). Display a transgressive sexuality, sado-maochism being preferred. You are not required to be promiscuous. The display is the important thing. Maintain the dark, ethereal focus with dark, death-motif clothing; but Goth women are also expected to be hyper-feminine. Spiked heels and revealing clothes and graphic language are all useful for this display. Goth men generally reserve androgyny for themselves.
- 4). Visit the website "Vamp." Consult its international list of Goth hangouts. Find the Goth hangout closest to you, then visit it one time to become familiar with it. Ask your prospective boyfriend if that is where he goes. If he hasn't, ask him if he'd go with you. Take him to a vegan restaurant before you go, order his food and pay for his meal without asking. This will demonstrate your initiative and disdain for convention.
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