Escape Mind Traps of Anxiety and Weight Gain
I recently worked with a client, a working mother who was unhappy with her weight and had a tendency to overeat because of her unhappiness.
After performing the exercise I will outline below, she realized that what she was really after was the feeling of being comfortable.
Food may have offered this comfort for the short time she was actually eating, but it certainly did not offer her anything beyond a short-term fix, resulting in her being unhappy that she was once again eating when not hungry.
Do you find yourself often, if not constantly, thinking about your weight? Do you find that sometimes you start eating and can't stop yourself? And that when your clothes become too tight, you react by eating more? This is a typical symptom of making the bad decision to eat as a way to gain comfort for some anxiety.
You feel bad about yourself and imagine that everyone is thinking how overweight you are, which increases your anxiety about eating and your personal image, driving you to eat more to comfort yourself! UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF "What will that do for me?" A simple question such as this can often mark the first step toward better understanding yourself and your behavior, and improving that behavior to get the results you want.
It works like this: when an upsetting situation results in you feeling the need to eat as many cookies as you can, stop yourself.
Instead of binging on cookies, ask yourself, "What will that do for me?" Continue to ask yourself that question to work through the situation.
If your mind responds that cookies would be a fine treat, ask yourself, "If I eat this treat, what does that do for me?" Then, "If I have this treat, I will feel comforted...
If I feel comforted, what will that do for me?" Keep asking yourself the same question until you reach the end of the thought.
What you are seeking is a greater motivation than the behavior of eating too many cookies.
If you can adopt the conscious effort to explore your subconscious reasoning on a regular basis, you will become more attuned to what you truly want, and take steps to controlling your food cravings to reach your real goal of your ideal weight.
PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST When my client and I talked about how she found comfort in other areas of her life, it became apparent that she, as with so many working mums, found she was rarely (if ever) putting herself first.
She did not take the time to do the things she enjoyed or the things she wanted, resulting in her feelings of being unappreciated and lacking.
What also became apparent was that she never put any "ME" time aside for herself.
She never did the things in life that made her feel herself and be in touch with who she really is.
Simple little acts like a soak in a luxurious bath, a girly chat with her friend over a glass of wine or a coffee, settling down in front of the TV to watch a nice film by herself, or losing herself in a good book.
These may all seem like trivial things, but added together, they became the source of her feelings of being invisible, not appreciated, and generally unloved.
Having worked on different ways that she could comfort, appreciate, and reward herself once in a while (without reaching for a quick fix with food), she became more focused on what she wanted with regards to her weight management.
She found it was far easier to eat sensibly and lose weight far easier than she ever had, and she is well on her way to her ideal weight.
She has forgotten all about eating for comfort.
A SIMPLE EXERCISE List 10 of the simple things in life that you love to do.
i.
e.
Nice hot soak in a deep bath.
Alongside each of the 10 things you have listed, write down the last time you rewarded yourself with such a treat.
Now put a date next to each one to show when you will do it! i.
e.
Sunday night, after the kids have gone to bed.
Then, I want you to write out how it's going to be.
i.
e.
I will run a nice deep, hot, luxurious bath and add some of the bath salts I had as a pressie for my birthday that I never got the chance to use.
I'm going to turn out the lights and light some scented candles, have some relaxing music playing, and have a glass of chilled wine at my side.
Now doesn't that sound nicer than a few cookies?
After performing the exercise I will outline below, she realized that what she was really after was the feeling of being comfortable.
Food may have offered this comfort for the short time she was actually eating, but it certainly did not offer her anything beyond a short-term fix, resulting in her being unhappy that she was once again eating when not hungry.
Do you find yourself often, if not constantly, thinking about your weight? Do you find that sometimes you start eating and can't stop yourself? And that when your clothes become too tight, you react by eating more? This is a typical symptom of making the bad decision to eat as a way to gain comfort for some anxiety.
You feel bad about yourself and imagine that everyone is thinking how overweight you are, which increases your anxiety about eating and your personal image, driving you to eat more to comfort yourself! UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF "What will that do for me?" A simple question such as this can often mark the first step toward better understanding yourself and your behavior, and improving that behavior to get the results you want.
It works like this: when an upsetting situation results in you feeling the need to eat as many cookies as you can, stop yourself.
Instead of binging on cookies, ask yourself, "What will that do for me?" Continue to ask yourself that question to work through the situation.
If your mind responds that cookies would be a fine treat, ask yourself, "If I eat this treat, what does that do for me?" Then, "If I have this treat, I will feel comforted...
If I feel comforted, what will that do for me?" Keep asking yourself the same question until you reach the end of the thought.
What you are seeking is a greater motivation than the behavior of eating too many cookies.
If you can adopt the conscious effort to explore your subconscious reasoning on a regular basis, you will become more attuned to what you truly want, and take steps to controlling your food cravings to reach your real goal of your ideal weight.
PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST When my client and I talked about how she found comfort in other areas of her life, it became apparent that she, as with so many working mums, found she was rarely (if ever) putting herself first.
She did not take the time to do the things she enjoyed or the things she wanted, resulting in her feelings of being unappreciated and lacking.
What also became apparent was that she never put any "ME" time aside for herself.
She never did the things in life that made her feel herself and be in touch with who she really is.
Simple little acts like a soak in a luxurious bath, a girly chat with her friend over a glass of wine or a coffee, settling down in front of the TV to watch a nice film by herself, or losing herself in a good book.
These may all seem like trivial things, but added together, they became the source of her feelings of being invisible, not appreciated, and generally unloved.
Having worked on different ways that she could comfort, appreciate, and reward herself once in a while (without reaching for a quick fix with food), she became more focused on what she wanted with regards to her weight management.
She found it was far easier to eat sensibly and lose weight far easier than she ever had, and she is well on her way to her ideal weight.
She has forgotten all about eating for comfort.
A SIMPLE EXERCISE List 10 of the simple things in life that you love to do.
i.
e.
Nice hot soak in a deep bath.
Alongside each of the 10 things you have listed, write down the last time you rewarded yourself with such a treat.
Now put a date next to each one to show when you will do it! i.
e.
Sunday night, after the kids have gone to bed.
Then, I want you to write out how it's going to be.
i.
e.
I will run a nice deep, hot, luxurious bath and add some of the bath salts I had as a pressie for my birthday that I never got the chance to use.
I'm going to turn out the lights and light some scented candles, have some relaxing music playing, and have a glass of chilled wine at my side.
Now doesn't that sound nicer than a few cookies?
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