Providing Support

• Everyone grieves differently, but most people need support during this painful time---even if they don't admit it. Don't assume you know what your loved one needs---be sure to ask. This might be something as simple as doing a few loads of laundry, picking up the house, or taking her dog for a walk. Encourage her to ask for what she needs, and continue to offer your assistance.
  
  Also, if your loved one wants to talk about her grief, allow her to express her feelings, and provide quiet support. If she doesn't feel like talking, be willing to sit silently. Oftentimes, a grieving widow will find comfort in your presence, even if you aren't talking. Don't be surprised if she wants to repeatedly talk about how the death occurred. Be patient, and listen to the story as many times as she wants to tell it, without interrupting.
  
  

Comments to Avoid

• Avoid comments like "I understand how you feel," "He's happier now" and "It's time to move on." It's impossible to know how a grieving window is feeling unless you've had the same loss. These comments may leave her frustrated and angry.
  
  Instead, provide support without telling the grieving window what she should do. If you want to provide advice, do it sparingly, and provide gentle suggestions like, "Have you considered..."
  
  

Gather Support Group Information

• Grieving widows often experience comfort by taking with others in similar situations. Support groups for grieving widows are available in your community. Check with community hospitals, counselors and funeral homes in your area. Gather meeting time information, and leave it with your loved one. Tell her you're willing to attend with her, if she would like the support.
  
  

When to Get Help

• A grieving widow may feel sad, depressed and disconnected---this is normal. But if symptoms aren't improving over time, it might be a warning sign. Abusing drugs or alcohol, losing the ability to function daily and hallucinations are red flags. Also, if your loved one discusses suicide, call 911 immediately.