Tips for Dealing With Power Struggles in Your Marriage
The balance of power in relationships has always been an interesting topic.
Understanding how this dynamic can be challenging in many relationships, this article presents some tips for dealing with power struggles in your marriage.
If I were to sit down and have a conversation with someone face to face about this topic, I would start all this conversation with a question.
"What do you want in your relationship?" This question allows people to discover the most interesting dynamic at play within these power struggles.
For whatever reason, many of us have an innate desire to "have the power.
" But yet, when I ask the above question, my answers are rarely along those lines.
I am far more likely to hear someone say "I want a relationship that is rewarding, exciting, and fun" then I would be to hear an answer like "I want a relationship where I always know I have the final word and no one challenges that.
" Do you see the contradiction there? The vast majority of people, and I'm guessing this includes you, do not get married so they can be in a relationship where they hold the power.
This isn't a motivator for any of us.
We get married because we love someone, and we want to share our lives with that person.
But then, somewhere along the way, we get caught in this compulsion to establish our own individual power in the relationship.
Naturally, we feel a struggle in doing this, because a power struggle is not what we signed up for.
Once you are able to answer the question "what do you want in your relationship?" then begin working towards that end.
Sit the power struggles in your marriage down.
I can see how that would be a scary idea, because if you stop struggling for power, the your spouse will just take it all? Correct? Well, not exactly.
See, your spouse didn't sign up for a power struggle either.
No one gets married thinking "MAN, I can't wait to spend my whole life controlling this person's life and forcing them into doing whatever I say.
" Most husbands and wives, even shabby ones, hope their spouse can find happiness in life.
Be clear about what you want and work towards achieving it.
Provide your spouse with an opportunity to answer this question as well, and then begin working towards accomplishing both answers.
This struggle is far more fruitful then one over power.
This article provides several tips for dealing with power struggles in your marriage.
It is my hope that with these tips, you will experience far less of these power struggles.
As a final thought, I'd like to share a quote from the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
" Near the end, Matthew McConaughey's characters gives a toast in which he says "Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right.
But power isn't happiness...
" No, it isn't.
Understanding how this dynamic can be challenging in many relationships, this article presents some tips for dealing with power struggles in your marriage.
If I were to sit down and have a conversation with someone face to face about this topic, I would start all this conversation with a question.
"What do you want in your relationship?" This question allows people to discover the most interesting dynamic at play within these power struggles.
For whatever reason, many of us have an innate desire to "have the power.
" But yet, when I ask the above question, my answers are rarely along those lines.
I am far more likely to hear someone say "I want a relationship that is rewarding, exciting, and fun" then I would be to hear an answer like "I want a relationship where I always know I have the final word and no one challenges that.
" Do you see the contradiction there? The vast majority of people, and I'm guessing this includes you, do not get married so they can be in a relationship where they hold the power.
This isn't a motivator for any of us.
We get married because we love someone, and we want to share our lives with that person.
But then, somewhere along the way, we get caught in this compulsion to establish our own individual power in the relationship.
Naturally, we feel a struggle in doing this, because a power struggle is not what we signed up for.
Once you are able to answer the question "what do you want in your relationship?" then begin working towards that end.
Sit the power struggles in your marriage down.
I can see how that would be a scary idea, because if you stop struggling for power, the your spouse will just take it all? Correct? Well, not exactly.
See, your spouse didn't sign up for a power struggle either.
No one gets married thinking "MAN, I can't wait to spend my whole life controlling this person's life and forcing them into doing whatever I say.
" Most husbands and wives, even shabby ones, hope their spouse can find happiness in life.
Be clear about what you want and work towards achieving it.
Provide your spouse with an opportunity to answer this question as well, and then begin working towards accomplishing both answers.
This struggle is far more fruitful then one over power.
This article provides several tips for dealing with power struggles in your marriage.
It is my hope that with these tips, you will experience far less of these power struggles.
As a final thought, I'd like to share a quote from the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.
" Near the end, Matthew McConaughey's characters gives a toast in which he says "Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less, and he was right.
But power isn't happiness...
" No, it isn't.
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