While you can’t force a friendship to happen, you can up your chances of having someone like you. And if they like you enough, you may become best friends. Doing these things will help you with all your friendships, of course, and make you someone that is valued by the people you let into your life.

Listen and Listen and Listen

One of the best things about having a best friend is that you’ve got someone you know will always listen to you and hear you out.


Besties listen without judgment, and use active listening techniques to find out what their friends aren’t saying. In other words, they’ll hear what someone is talking about but also look at how they are saying things, what they are leaving out, and the emotions involved in the conversation in order to give their friends support.

Listening is a skill you can improve on the more you do it. With best friends, this is very important because not feeling heard is one of the most common reasons someone will walk away from a friendship.

Be There, In Person

Today, we spend lots of time on social media and not much in person. My Friendship Boot Camp helps you figure out ways to carve out time in even the busiest of schedules in order to see your friend face-to-face. It’s not that hard when you make it a priority, and in order to be a best friend you have to do just that.

Your best pal will need you there when they need you. Not when it’s convenient for you. Not when you have time. In fact, if you show up after they need you that just means you weren’t able to help when your friend required it, and that’s usually the beginning of the end when it comes to close friendships.

Give Them a Break

Some people call it grace. Others say it’s just giving your friend a break. This involves:

• Not calling them out on things when they make the occasional mistake.
• Allowing them to be late without flipping out over it.
• Giving them space to be annoying because things aren’t going well.

While it’s important to talk to friends about problems in your relationship, it’s also good to give them some slack. If you want to be a best friend, you’ll need to do this more often than not.

Never Make Assumptions About Them

One of the most heartbreaking ways that friendship goes wrong is when someone makes an assumption about someone else. They’re running late so you assume they just don’t care. They say something stupid so you read more into their comment than they had intended.

This is where advice from The Four Agreements comes in handy: Never make assumptions. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure, meaning that you witness something in person or hear it from your friend’s mouth.

Don’t Be Negative

You can be realistic with a friend. You can use gentle honesty to make sure you keep things real. But if you’re a negative person and you put down all their ideas, pop a hole in their happiness balloon, or otherwise bring down the mood, you’re not going to be a best friend for long. The job of the best friend is to be a safe place to land when the rest of life treats you crummy.

 

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