One of the biggest problems none of us can avoid in our lives is that of family disputes.
This comes in unprecedented waves from all directions whether in arguments, disagreements or just the mere fact that time and again we cannot stand one another.
The worst part of all of this is the fact that we are related and yet we don't get along.
There is no doubt that this would happen at sometime in our livelihood whether we are born into a family or find one.
The fact remains that it is something we have to deal with.
Below are two key factors to take into consideration during these times to help us cope with this.
Who is our family? The most important aspect in dealing with family issues is first understanding who we consider as our family.
In the bible it is written: 'Then said one unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? And who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my Brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister and mother.
' This statement is the basis for dealing with family issues.
Most of the time these issues stem from a conflict of interest between loyalty and a misinterpretation of what is correct and what isn't.
Usually when it comes to family the unspoken truth is to place loyalty above what is correct.
If we go against this standard then we have a disagreement.
Family is not only restricted to bloodline.
Family starts from doing the will of God.
If any of us is going against this and claiming to be family then we have every right to tell them the truth.
Deceiving ourselves and relying solely upon loyalty over what is correct would eventually cause greater harm.
Correcting a family member or being corrected yourself should always stem from this basis.
It is better to stand in righteousness before the Lord than to stand in loyalty before man.
The rewards that man can offer us will never surpass that of God.
What is the purpose of our family? Apart from the obvious reason that having a relation with someone else means we are not alone on earth, family are there to support us in anyway possible.
However because they are family the support we receive doesn't necessarily depend on their loyalty to us, here we must reference the question above - who is family.
In the bible, in the book of Proverbs we are taught: 'A friend loveth at all time, and a brother is born for adversity.
' This explains the difference in the relationship between that of a family member and one who isn't.
Family believes that if they are a part of us then they have certain say in our livelihood.
However this 'say' doesn't always come across in the way we desire.
On the other hand friendship has its own boundaries and hence there is generally a certain boundary in friendship that is rarely crossed.
With this in mind we must know before hand why we would have more arguments with family and fewer with friends.
If we know who our family is by understanding whether they represent the will of God at the particular time of confrontation and what purpose they serve, meaning it is more likely for us to have an argument with them than anyone else then we would be in a better position to deal with a family disagreement.
We shouldn't be overwhelmed in distress during these times because we should understand that these problems come with being part of a family.