Culpability.
The short definition given by Google is, "responsible for a fault or wrong, blame.
" Blame, fault, wrong...
me? Gasp.
It's not pleasant and it's definitely not fun.
But like I tell my son about eating vegetables, it's good for you.
As a child I was told not to point.
The direction of my tiny finger got diverted on more than one occasion accompanied by hushed tones of reprimand.
Children are notorious for pointing their fingers.
Some children turn into adults who are still pointing, especially when things go wrong.
What I've noticed though is that when the whole finger-pointing activity is going on, nothing else is getting done.
Most importantly the problem is not getting solved.
This can go on for years, stifling any real change and progress.
Admitting your culpability is the first step to an empowered life.
Here's why: Why you need to admit your culpability.
Have you ever met a person who laments unfortunate circumstances by saying, "This always happens to me!" Hmmm.
If this always happens to you...
what's the common denominator? Oftentimes we find ourselves in repeat situations.
Take note of the repeats.
Until we stop pointing at everyone and everything else in the situation aka.
our lives, nothing is going to change.
The only person you have any real control over is you.
Start there.
Winners never place blame and losers never take responsibility.
Why is that? Because winners do something about what they can do something about.
They don't sit around waiting for someone else to go first.
It's like two cars sitting beside each other at a stop light.
The light turns green but neither car moves forward.
They're waiting on the other car to go first.
If neither car goes, no one behind them can go either.
No one is moving forward if no one goes first! The losers are the ones still sitting at the stoplight pointing in the other direction while the winners have reached their destination.
Don't be a victim - it's boring to listen to.
I am going to be transparent with you right now.
I learned this lesson a long time ago and I've never forgotten it.
The year was...
well, the year doesn't matter.
Let's just say I was much younger at the time.
I had a job with a Fortune 50 company and one of my responsibilities was to work with grocery store managers on displays and promotions in their stores.
One morning everything behind the scenes on my end went wrong which resulted in job-not-done for my customer.
When I next saw the store manager I launched into my explanation of why we hadn't delivered as promised.
She looked directly at me (I can still see her face) and said, "That's not my problem," and walked away.
OUCH! I've never forgotten that because she was right.
She didn't care to hear my sad story - yawn - she needed to know what I was going to do in spite of everything to deliver results as promised.
My children get the full benefit of my life lessons (they always do).
Whenever one of them comes to me with an excuse for why something did or didn't happen (explained to me as forces beyond their control), I just stare at them.
Then I say, "and...
so what could you have done differently?" I'm patiently awaiting the day when their reaction to this question is not one of having heard it for the first time.
However, when they do answer this question, they then walk away empowered because they understand their responsibility in their own lives.
Nothing will change if everything remains the same...
including you.
Don't be a victim.
Take responsibility.
Admit your culpability.
It's the first step to an empowered life.